How could they?

Oh, God.
Your creation is doing massacres, showing no mercy.
While I was enjoying the great company of 10 people from AIESEC, drinking beer, laughing, playing a funny game... at another place on the Earth people suffered again. And some of them lost the opportunity their lives to end peacefully... The next in a row of massacre air strikes 60 people were killed in their sleep by the Israeli air force... There's no excuse for this act. Even if Hisbullah were hiding there, should the saying be repeated: an eye for an eye???

"...
A kitten mewed as it scampered over the ruins of its dead owner's home. On a patch of land beside the house, tobacco leaves threaded on wires dried to a wrinkled brown in the sun. Beside the partially demolished house was a deep crater, a familiar sight in South Lebanon, where hundreds of buildings have been flattened by powerful aerial bombs.
..."
copyright of Nicholas Blanford, specially for Daily Star, July 31st 2006
http://www.dailystar.com.lb/article.asp?edition_id=1&categ_id=2&article_id=74379


People of Lebanon, you feel that the world has forgotten you and is doing nothing to help you while your beautiful country is being destroyed. The officials of states might not do what they have to, but ordinary people like me haven't stopped thinking about how you feel now and pray that this injustice stops as soon as possible...

Silent moment - enjoying the sounds.

Today, while I was waiting for my precious bus No.9 after being in the MC office, I was listening to some music on my CD player. It was Bob Marley this time. Normally, I always listen to music and don't want to hear what's going on around me. But this time it was different. I just looked around me and stopped the player for a while.
The city is quiet. People pass by. The trees in front moving in the directions the wind was blowing silently. A bus stopping. Some people get in, after that the noise of the ticket perforators inside. Click! The mechanism making the bus doors close and the specific sound is heard. A plane landing passes over. Laughters behind me. In the other direction - someone already going in the distance is explaining something to someone else...

It was a magic moment. A moment of silence and yet - of sounds. The sounds of silence :) If these are the sounds of silence, then I love it.

Funny dough

My grandmother always prepares something delicious for me before I leave to Sofia. :) This time it was pizza. She prepares the dough and puts it in the fridge. so the last time she made pizza was last Sunday. My father opened the fridge and saw what? The dough not only grown in volume (as it has to be) but the bylon bag almost torn by it and a huge closed space with air between the dough and the bag. It looked as if it was going to explode :)

Sometimes life is like a flow. Not that it has a beginning and definitely an end. Most of all, it's like a river flowing faster and faster.You have no time to turn back and if you turn, the only thing you'll realize is that you're going farther and farther, and the distance between you and the place you've started the journey is getting bigger.

Every person has got a separate karma, thus the flow is going faster with some people, and with others - more slowly. One cannot choose a life and the speed of the flow. Through all their lives, some people dream of a flow that goes much faster than it is, and others - for a much slower flow. The strength of will could be enough at some point. But from then on... just useless tries.

Just go with the flow. Don't make too much efforts to change. You're just fine like that. People say ignorance is bliss. I don't know whether that's right or not, but it sounds nice...sometimes. Who said never to stop asking questions? I'd add "questions about yourself". What's the point? It's just a materialistic world, a world which makes the flow run much faster than the normal speed. And how can one return to their true self when we're always dependent on that surrounding world? We're a part of it. Unless everyone decide upon this, it's useless to try.

Then what's the point in following that direction of the flow? What can be the solution? You should change the direction. Definitely. Somehow. Someday. It's like fighting with yourself. You'll be both a winner and a loser. Then what will be the final result? Here maths can't be applied. The cost of what you lose could be higher than the gain from the winner prize.

Hmm..another reminder. Which turns me back to the real world...

What's the Purpose?

Is it enlightenment? Or the so-called state "Nirvana"? And why do I always reach such conclusions late after midnight while listening to Depeche Mode? (By the way, nice track - "Nothing's Impossible" from their latest album - "Playing The Angel")
And if I can choose what to believe in, I believe in this one above. People have never stopped asking themselves what their purpose of being is.
Or if I have to refer to my latest post with the lyrics of "I Don't Know" - we can't be certain...

But why not? Or as the editors of the website about wave structure of matter write, there's only one ultimate truth. Out there. Then how can one be sure?
That's why I believe in the power of science. It can prove everything, but only if it finds the true path, the true clues... and that's the purpose of science.

As to purpose of life, I don't know...Who does know???
And yet, that's the worthiest quest. What else should we be living for? Making money? Spending them on luxurious goods??? I doubt.

Funny, some people make money in order to live, but others live in order to make money...

Full stop.

I don't know...

What's pleasing to the eye

In the delusion of my sight

Is not what I find when I reach into the light

I have lost my mind

I'm walking through time

Deluded as the next guy

Pretending and hoping to find

That distant peace of mind

I don't know

Who does know

There is no

Where to go

It's not so simple as I try to wish

But then again what is?

There is no other worthy quest

So on I go

I don't know

Who does know

There is no

Where to go

Beastie Boys, "I Don't Know"

About the conflict from the source

While searching for some information about Lebanon, I found a link to a Lebanese newspaper in English, and its online forum in particular:

http://www.dailystar.com.lb/forums/

Wow, you can learn more about the issue from its very source - the ordinary people from the two nations!

The age of Aquarius

Some thoughts in the comments that made me think of something I've already thought of previously.

There's a theory that from the beginning of the 20th century the Earth has come under the influence of the next astrological sign in back order - Aquarius. It comes with drastic changes, or as it is said, awakens the old demons to exorcize them completely and this cleansing will bring all the mud from the depths to the surface. Of course, people may say that such drastic changes has always been a part of our existence. But the signs are clear. Since the beginning of the technological revolution and especially since the beginning of the internet era all things which would have in other circumstances happened for centuries now develop for decades or even less. It took only a few days for a single post in a Danish newspaper with carricatures of the prophet Mohammed to awaken the anger of Muslims all over the world. Previously we all saw the collapes of the two towers of the WTC on September 11th 2001. And as if we were there we could feel the pain in the eyewitnesses' eyes. With only a few clicks with the mouse we can connect with someone who's on the other half of the globe and even hear and see them.

So now we encounter problems more intensively than any other moment back in time. Some people call it a clash of civilizations: between the West, Muslim world, Chinese... In past religions clashed quite often but only by wars. Nowadays wars between peoples on religious basis still occur often, but people fight much more with arguments than with weapons. Beacuse you can be heard everywhere. You just need to log on to the web...

While some people kill each other for their different beliefs, others start thinking much more about what lies beneath the surface of our minds. The so-called esotheric theories spread much faster than e.g. criminal literature. While some groups of our societies tend to fall into stupidity and narrow-mindedness, into the deep Lethen waters, others seek for the Truth about Life, the Universe and Everything. They seek for enlightment...

Enlightment is coming, step by step. The road might be hard and long, but definitely there's NO turning back. Not all people are prepared for it, most of them won't change the lanes and will continue in the same dead-end streets of ignorance. But ignorance is not bliss. Those who change, they will reach a higher state of conscoiusness, they will reach the enlightment.

Does it sound weird to you? Just take some time for reflection. The answer will come by itself...

Lebanon and Israel

It's been a few days since Isrealis started bombing Lebanon and the situation hasn't changed much yet. As if the International organizationa, the UN Security Council are dumb. Some words for interference but no action. They can't stop Israel doing what they want to. I'm not saying that, on the other side, the organization Hisbullah are saints. And, of course, as it is said, there's no smoke without a fire so what we see on the TV and in the internet isn't the whole information about the issue. There's a reason behind this invasion for sure.
And yet it's not an excuse. How many people have died on Lebanese side till now? Much more than on Israeli's. And most of them are civilians. This country has suffered quite a lot in the past and had just begun to revive when the bombings started. And it's all about an organization, not the government of Lebanon. They might be unofficially involved and might not take measures to stop Hisbullah but to hold a whole state responsible for one terrorist organization? If that's right then the US should hold Germany responsbile and to start bombing them because the terrorists from September 11th had made up the plot in Hamburg (as far as I remember). The fakeness of this excuse is quite striking.
But if Lebanese government is involved, why don't Israel ask for international measures?

I reach the conclusion that (if we don't involve opinions about how effective the Security Council and other similar organizations are) the state Israel's existence depends on war. They probably think that only wars and occupation of territories can help them survive as an independent state. Sometimes I think they have the right to have an own country where their roots are, but the nations that settled after them have the same right. Then what? Constant war? I don't believe so, at least in very, very long-term perspective. Both sides can't reach peace because if the governments sign peace, they won't be elected next time by their people. That's the truth.

This time with Lebanon, well, terrorism issue has been very popular lately. Probably here we'll just have to wait for Russia and US's measures. I guess only they have the power to stop this senseless invasion. The first ones - if it's suitable to their national interests, they can influence Israeli government by their electorate - as all of us know, many Israeli citizens are of Russian origin. The second ones - because they have a finger in every pie as far as Middle East is concerned and Israel is the guardian of their interests in the region.

Let's wait and see. I only sorrow for the ones that have lost their lives and for those whose life is still in danger...

School memories

Today I accidentally came across two things. I found an article in a newspaper about a chart of the top high schools in Sofia. The chart of the newspaper had put the National Trade and Banking High School (NTBG) on 15th place of desire by candidates for high school. But, in fact, it appeared to be on the 2nd place. I felt so proud of the high school I graduated 3 years ago... This proved my opinion - schools like NTBG which provide students with professional education and, moreover, with practical skills, get more and more attractive... Nowadays it turns out that the knowledge and practice you've gained there are comparatively more valuable than the university education.

The second thing that happened was the discovery of the new (finally!) website of NTBG:

http://ntbg-education.com/page.php?1

where I found this photo up there. With my classmates and me in 2001... I saw more photos from fairs I've participated in, including the one at the 90th anniversary of NTBG.

I remember how passionate we were that day - in 2001. Preparing our corner, putting the big poster on the wall (it can be seen on the photo - in the background). Wow, we paid 40 leva for this one :-D Well, Profitbank was the best one...as usual...and we didn;t get the prize...again. But it's another not so nice and much longer topic...

I remember Stasi (the girl next to me) trying to fix it on the window and shouting to the boys to come and help her...well, they didn't - as usual.

Wow, I've got so many good memories from this school. No matter how hard sometimes it was, and no matter how disappointed I was from some things which were happening there, now I feel PROUD that I graduated the National Trade and Banking High School. Professional high school education - that's the future, like it or not. And I'm happy that I spent 5 unforgettable years being one of the beginners in what is now a tradition at this school - the training entities. Thank you, NTBG. I hope one day someone would organize a gathering of all students graduated the school, and they would take care of us...like alumni...And then it will be finally proved how empowering this school is. I wish you all the best, NTBG. I hope you get much better than the level you're standing at right now... Thank you!

Another beautiful summer day in Sofia

As probably everything existing in the Universe, Sofia also has two sides: a good one and a bad one. I see the bad one from my window. And I can even breath it. The wind is blowing through the cracks of the windows and birngs with it the smell of the sea...nooo, not the sea this time, only if Sofia were next to the Black sea. It's even better - air full of elements from the chart of Mendeleev... I see the origin of this bliss - a misty cloud approaching towards the city. It's from the pride of our country - Kremikovtsi plant. Oh, lucky inhabitants of Drujba, Mladost, Gorublyane and Studentski grad... you're the ones who get this unique...hm, not unique, it's everyday chance to sense the scent...
My dream is to live somewhere closer to this place. Only then I'll be able to enjoy it to the maximum...

Being sick

For three days in a row I don't feel very well. I satayed at home and have just come to Sofia to be back to work, and now I'm trapped in the flat, not being able to do anything else but having a rest and...well...posting in my blog. Hopefully, I will be OK soon. Not only because of my duties, but because I've planned some meetings for the weekend with some of my best friends and I don't want to miss them! It turnes out to be a summer full of great moments! Can't wait till Friday!!! :)


I'm sitting here in the boring room
It's just another rainy Sunday afternoon
I'm wasting my timeI got nothing to do
I'm hanging around
I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens and I wonder

A nice place to visit in Sofia

mappaint.asp
Originally uploaded by Tsvetana.

It's called "Ambience" - a small cafe in Tsar Ivan Asen II str.

The interior is in the yellow colour scheme. A part of the interiar imitates old ruins - walls and Ionian columns at both sides of the walls. There's a florist's next to the cafe. And, of course, there are some flower decorations in the cafe. :)

They serve lemon-squash, orange-squash, fresh juiices, etc. - nice things in general :)

The music is awesome - ambient, of course :-D

And you can get some of these ad-postcards. I liked Mtel&Vodafone's the most! It's a dream place. :)))

http://www.flickr.com/photos/91293933@N00/184631619/

Sofia's hidden beauty

It was Sunday - one of those days when the city is so quiet that you can hear your footsteps! I was walking in the centre and, finally, decided to take my camera with me and shoot some more photos.

Sofia is such a controversial place. Sometimes it's so overcrowded, noisy, dirty... that you want to be anywhere else but there. And in other cases (unfortunately, only a few) it's a very quiet place and you can feel its atmosphere.

Believe me, Sofia might be a very beautiful city, only its beauty is hidden from the eyes of its inhabitants and visitors. You just have to look deeply and you'll find it's charm.


This posting is dedicated to buildings in Sofia - old, but beautiful; forgotten by restoration initiatives, but haven't lost their own individuality.




The photo on the left shows the building at the corner of Vitosha blvd. and Alabin str. It's a good example of how neglected old buildings in the centre are. It's in the very centre of the city, but noone cares how it looks like. Though there are some very luxurious shops in it. On its very corner at the level of the second floor there's an old camera. It's staying there since...a long time ago - probably I wasn't born yet. It's not working, of course.








Photo on the right: the building is situated at Todor Aleksandrov blvd, opposite to Bulbank, and its facade is "looking" at the recently rebuilt catholic cathedral. It's so neglected that even trees have started growing at the balcony!!! Well, it's not the only one of a kind in Sofia - what a surprise! :-( As if inhabitants have left, and nature has moved in...






Photo on the left: shows the back facade of a building at the corner of Hristo Botev blvd. and Pirotska str. This was the first time I've seen stained glasses on such type of building. Usually in Sofia you can see such mostly on at least a century old houses. And...again tree growing from the balcony...


Most of the inhabitants of buildings like this don't have enough money to have the buildings restored. At the moment the state and/or the municipality don't encourage and support them much to do it. Of course, no one wants to spend so much money on something which is just seen from the outside and is for the beauty of the city and not for personal profit. It's normal. But yet, the state/the municipality should help them and encourage them. After all, this is the face of the city, this is the true and original, and oldest part of the capital. It's pure history. Older than 50 years. It's something invaluable but it's turning into ruins or it's being turned into ruins and then replaced by new flashy buildings which destroy the whole atmosphere...

Фонетична или БДС кирилица?

Един ден съвсем случайно ми дойде наум: хмм, защо все пиша на английски тук в блога си? Реших - може би защото не е български блог портал и ако пиша на кирилица, няма да се разчете нищо (?!?). Е, опитах и стана. И странно като натисках бутоните на клавиатурата и изведнъж си зададох въпроса: защо се ползва т.нар. фонетичен стандарт вместо БДС за кирилица? Може и да звучи странно на някого, но за мен БДС си е най-добрият стандарт. Не че имам нещо против хората, които пишат на фонетична, но това е все едно да пишиш на латиница, само че излизат буквите на кирилица. Е тогава как да си запазим хубавия език, като отвсякъде се намесва латиницата основно под формата на англиийски.
Има си стандарт, буквите са си подредени на определен принцип, който от дълго време си се ползва. И е лесно, стига да имаш малко практика. Който е учил машинопис по десетопръстната система, знае за какво говоря. Да, има несъвпадение на звуците, но какво от това? Трябва ли още нещо чуждо да навлиза и да сменя нашето, което си е хубаво?
Макар че съм забравила десетопръстната система, все още мога да пиша еднакво бързо и на двата стандарта - БДС и латиница (US вариант).

Много се чудя защо хората основно ползват латинската подредба? Стигам до няколко извода:
- има хора, които живеят в чужбина и там българската азбука не е отпечатана на бутоните на клавиатурата и по-трудно се оправят с търсенето;
- повечето хора в България (може би особено по-младите) не владеят, а сигурно някои и не са чували за десетопръстната система - нормално, все пак не всеки му трябва
- с все по-широката употреба на компютри и интернет и по-масовото използване на английски хората свикват с този начин на печатане
- на средностатистическия ползвател на компютър и интернет не му се налага особено често да пише на български или изобщо да пише и се привиква към латинската подредба заради имената на сайтове и т.н.

Понякоге много се дразня, когато ползвам компютър, на който не е сложен и стандарта БДС измежду възможностите за печатане. Само фонетична. И докато свикна, че буквата "в" се намира на "w" вместо на "v" бутона... трябваха ми много опити и по неволя препълнени с буквата "ж" текстове...

Много хора са против използването на латиница при писане в български сайтове, което е напълно обяснимо (при положение че на повечето места си има автоматични кирилизатори). Но си мисля: не може ли малко повече да се наложи и БДС стандарта? Все пак си е БЪЛГАРСКИ.

Вярно, практически няма значение кой как пише, стига да е на български. Но въпросът е по-скоро принципен. Нима за пореден път трябва нещо наше, българско, да излезе от употреба заради чуждото???

LC Sofia - my story is over

It's been more than three years since I've joined AIESEC and LC Sofia UNWE in particular. Today was the official end of my EB term and the "oaths" of the EB 2006/2007.
It's a strange love (like in the song of Depeche Mode that I'm listening to at the moment). As I go back in time now I remember mostly the good moments. As if now I see my life then as flashbacks...
Stiliana and Maggie being so serious while interviewing me... The voice of Maggie on the phone telling me about the Local Introduction Seminar 2003... Me entering the LC office for the first time - the old one, painted in blue. Liubo asking me for the delegate fee while trying to get nearer as jumping over luggage... The keys for the rooms at the site of LIS. Vergie being the chair. Hmm, a useful booklet - What is AIESEC and contact list of the LC members... The interactive ways we learned about the AIESEC principles... The first party (Halloween theme) with Nasko using a curtain as a mantle... All the delagates, facilitators and OC in a circle singing Bob Marley's "No Woman, No Cry" and Nasko and Ivo making some funny gestures while changing a bit the name of the song...:) Tsvety as my team leader in the SN team... Mitko Chobanov and Stella talking to me about a mistake I've made... Stiliana being my mentor and the other mentees - Emo, Lile, Stefan & Stasi. The first national conference. The Faci team mostly o the current MC 2003/2004... The elections for MCP... Interpreting to Tom what the candidates were saying....I missed the last part of them... BLDS 2004 in Sofia... Me in the OC... Me slipping in front of the elevator and the box with algae powder for the delegates falling on the ground and 1/4 of it spreading... Me collecting the spread powder and hiding in in the thrash can nearby...:) The video on leadership topic with Vicky the facilitator. Organizing the company trainings sites... Me waiting at 6 o'clock at a tram stop with a couple of bags with bread for the breakfast... The sugarcubes at the end of the conference... Eb elections for term 2004/2005. Nasko elected as LCP. Me - coordinator Finance selected by the EB later. The Local Planning Conference at Vitosha. The EB 2003/2004 being so sad while "passing the ball" to the new EB and then leaving the conference... The summer of 2004. Me, Nasko, Ivo, Leny and Stoyan meeting almost every day at lunch in the centre discussing about AIESEC and stuff. LIS 2004 and the new members. My birthday being the party topic of the first day of LIS... A small kitten coming to the site and me - taking it home and naming it after the conference - Lisa. :) Marin, Pesho, nasko & Ivo talking about the Pernik region which made the perfect movie...:) Me being a mentor for the first time. I matched a TN and Nando came to Bulgaria. :) New Year's Eve party at my place with AIESECers...:) Time for decision for me whether to continue in the EB next term. Election time. Me - VP Finance 2005/2006. BLDS 2005 in Varna. The reflection time I had during my travel to Varna by bus. The music I was listening to... kircho showing funny videos... The closing of the conference when Kircho, Stella and Stiliana gathered us - all @BG EBs... You are the future of AIESEC in Bulgaria. Look around you and you'll see the people you'll be working with through the whole year. Count the days you have for AIESEC. How much in the end...? The National planning conference in May 2005... Dolni Lozen - the site of my first LIS in AIESEC - a place of good memories. Preparing Local Planning Conference with the EB. Me not going for personal issues... May-June - hard and intense times for me in general. 7 exams in UNWE, 2 for CAE of Cambridge... my EB term starts... Preparation for the recruitment campaign 2006... Presentation and me talking about the opportunities in financial area in AIESEC... Assessment centre with complicate schedule... Preparation for LIS 2005... Stella coming from Turkey to be the chair... Sleepless nights of preparation. Stressful times but intense learning times... My session for AIESEC Identity which started shaping even more my perception of AIESEC... 2006 - the most intense learning period for me: my EB, my team, the LC members. Conscious learning. EB elections and our successors elected. Hopes for a more united LC with a perfect EB team. Me reflecting upon the year. Me and the EB team 2005/2006 realizing how time has passed so quickly... Preparation for the official "takeover". Great times with EB 2005/2006. Lile's place, drinking beer, discussing women' stuff (of course, we had to prove to everyone that they were right to expect such meetings from a girls EB. :)) PPT preparation... Laughter while coming up with the funny sentences... The party at the Local planning conference. EB 2005/2006 speeches... PPT... Funny oaths... PPT for the EB 2006/2007... Champagne... Steli giving a speech as the LCP... Hugs and words with between EBs... Giving the globe with AIESEC logo to the LC... Finishing with the champagne in my cup... Taking a cab... Entering my place... Writing this post...

The End.


P.S. Actually it's not the end. It's a continuation of a good friendship with my EB team. I keep the good memories of the past times in my LC of origin. The story is not over because we can still meet the LC members and remember the past good and bad times. The story is not over because if it were, it would have meant that we want to forget totally about our firends in the LC and the times we've had there. No matter that I'm still in AIESEC in the MC, I will always remember the times spent in the LC - the things I've learned, the people I've met and I'll contuinue to meet, the moments I had there. Thank you, LC Sofia, for giving me the opportunities to develop myself and in considerable degree to be the person I am today. Now we should go forward: keeping the memory of the past times - bad and good, and climbe the highest mountains - each of us in our own special way. Good luck!

...