It goes, all goes, time has no shore and drags us, there's no other way...

Boredome and other funny stuff

Where did this boredome come from? I haven't invited it! I'm 100% sure!!! Well, it's almost certain that clocks don't get bored of repeating one and the same procedure each 24 hours.
Nevermind the machines, I'm not a machine. Therefore I decided to join a small group of friends and to climb Cherni vrah! It will be pretty soon - hopefully this Saturday!!!
That's what I call real fun! :) Vitosha, here I come! :-D

Inch by inch...

So what if everytime we hear something like that it's only on words? What if we hear the words but don't get the meaning? What if our souls are not able anymore to feel the truth?
What does "winners or losers" mean without the internal motivation for winning? And is there motivation without understanding the real purpose of victory?
How can we even visualize what it would be in the end of our lives in order to decide what exactly real living is?

No need to mention the questions require a lot of time to answer...

Inspiration by Steve Jobs

I found it by accident, is it is said. Existence of accidents is doubtful, but that's not the topic here.
It's a kind of the powerful speeches I used to hear not so long time ago and which I really miss now. Yes, passionate people can be found everywhere.
It could be questionable whether his stories were true or not. But yet it's food for thought.
Thank you, Steve!

My new blog

It's about everything I find interesting in a specific moment.
Why I started another blog? Because I want to post about various areas of topics. While my current blog is more about me and my perceptions of the world around me (or at least mostly about it), I want to post about other stuff as well. So new areas - new blog. Otherwise - loss of focus ;)))

So, no more words, here is the link

Perception of Right and Wrong

What would you do if you were me? What would you do if you knew what I knew and didn't know the things I don't know either.
I've got a unique learning path to walk on.
Don't judge me for what is right and what is wrong because your point of view is different.
If I could make one thing come true that would be to make everyone who think they know me to really KNOW me, or to know the REAL me.
I always want to make sure everything is clear, to have no secrets from anyone and to follow certain common priciples or rules, etc. What I'm not feeling confident enough about I judge on the pre-defined rules. I don't like breaking the rules even if in that way I may hurt people. If I can't define the future consequences of a risk I might take, I just don't take it. Maybe next time when I have some historical data I could make up my mind and be more people-oriented than rules-oriented.

People have different perceptions of what is right and what is wrong. Who am I?

I am what I am. This is what Hodja was writing on the top of each sheet of paper whenever he started describing memories of his past - in the book "The White Citadel" by Orhan Pamuk.
Who am I? I am an elephant. If you don't know what this means, I'll tell you. This is a person who always tries to follow the rules, likes everything to be made clear to everyone. Such people are very strict, punctual, analytical.
The question is why? Why more rule-oriented than people-oriented. Clashes between me and other types of people arise when the other people are more "people-oriented".
I have asked myself this question: what is the initial purpose for me to try to follow the rules and not to break them. If I raise this question on general level: why do "elephants" obey certain perscribed principles instead of following their common sense, it might prove helpful...if there are any elephants here at all.
So, the answer may be found by finding the real purpose for this obedience. I don't want to fall into thoughts about what has triggerred it, but rather than what it aims to.
Rules or principles in a perfect situation are used to help people make decisions. They are the BASIS which aims to reach the balance between different perspectives. They only help people understand this BASIS, in their perfect form they provide only this basis, nothing more, nothing less. So elephant types are following the rules to find the golden mean which points the balance between different interests and perspectives. If elephants are considered not to think about people, then it's a wrong perception of the others who don't understand them. It's exactly because of the people why elephants follow the rules. They want the basis to be clear, and on this clear basis clear relationships are built.
But sice the human mind and therefore human relations are a complex labyrinth, it takes a lot of time and sometimes time is never enough to understand the motives behind certain actions. What really makes us humans is the fact that we always will strive for finding the cause and effect. This is what really makes the difference. The level and complextity of this human ability also defines in a certain way the stage of personal development of each individual.

Brain efforts

Human brain is something quite interesting, especially its reactions when it's overloaded with lots of different types of information which it cannot process simultaneously. One tries to push it to its limits in the ordinary way. And the result is far more negative than even expected.
In the very beginning you feel temporary exhaustion and a constant demand for sleep. When you move, you concentrate your energy into the movement and the brain feels more relaxed.
After some rest as if everything is back to normal, but that's only the surface. Beneath it the brain still lacks a complete rest and the exhaustion is accumulated hour by hour, day by day, week by week.
The reactions become hasty, the emotions swing from one edge to another. One day you might be full of energy and concentration, to be excited to the maximum and feel love and attachment to every lviing creature. On the other day you might fall into a deep depression, thinking that the whole world is against you.
The final phase includes all previous phases but also total lack of concentration, forgetting things and also a feeling that some real moments have actually never happenned.
That's the break-even point which marks the moment when serious measures should be taken. Like taking some days off and changing the environment. Brain loves diversity.

Quiet, still, you feel there's nothing going on until you realize the space behind your eyes is filling up with something like peace...

This is the path where I start...

I'm back from BaLDS!!!

It was awesome: even more than I expected.
First, I travelled by bus with Sevi and Megan. It was really exciting to see the mountains again: I love watching outside the window when I'm passing through the Vitiniya pass.
We arrived and met there Ira, and then the great conference moments began. One by one, people I haven't met for a long time were coming in and joining our table. It was great seeing Sve, Plami, Leni... And few minutes later everyone else at the plenary.
The only session I attended was the one with the past MCPs of AIESEC in Bulgaria. The attending MCPs in chronological order: Yanko Ignatiev (95/96), Krasimir Ivanov (97/98), Iva Hadjiyska (99/00), Pavel Panov (01/02), Konstantin Grigorov (02/03), Viktor Kehayov (03/04), Svetla Stoyanova (o5/06), the current MCP Emil Ivanov (06/07) and the MCP elect: Ivaylo Dimov (07/08).
It was really interesting to see and hear those people. What was most noticeable was the difference in way of thinking and even way of speaking of the MCPs from different moments of the past. You could see the huge difference just in two years time. The background and the external environment surrounding each one of them has left a deep mark on their characters and, of course, on their leadership style. Each one of them is really unique and I hope that the youngest members of AIESEC could feel that as well.
The single exact phrase that remained in my mind was what Yanko Ignatov said: "Never have any regrets".
I couldn't talk to any of them, but I managed to talk to many other alumni of AIESEC in Bulgaria, and also with current members I haven't seen for ages. I had a nice chat with the elected VPF of LC Svishtov...hmm,...mostly about finance. :-D It was a really pleasant surprise to see people passing by and hearing me talk about finance and smiling: "Tsveti, you haven't changed".
The official dinner included the Alumni Oscars: t-shirts given by the alumni to the members who have contributed the most to the achievements of their LCs.
The party was in the same hall where the official dinner was. You could see people with formal wear dancing AIESEC dances or chatting everywhere around. At one moment I stood and I watched, and I thought how could this be possible? We don't even pay attention that good friends work for competing companies. And remain loyal both to their company and to their friends. That's so common to see here... I'm so happy about that fact! :)
I went to sleep at 3:30, almost crawing in the corridors...not because of drinking but because of the exhaustion from the excitement. :) The next morning (today actually) I woke up late and just had enough time to say goodbye to my friends and take the bus back to Sofia.



Whoud should I say? I felt like home there. I'm on the other side now but I really have no more regrets of my past actions. I saw that my actions have triggered something positive and I truly believe that I have remained in the minds of my closest people there as a real friend.
It was the best gift I could have had for my name day! :)

More photos here:

http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/tsvetanar/BaLDS2007