Some (random) thoughts about time and deja vu's

Do you never get bored of waiting? Have you ever had the feeling that for some things time runs fast and for others - doesn't?
Have you ever had the feeling that you're having a deja vu? I bet you have, but no one has such as mine.

I want time to run faster. And at the same time - to stop.
I want to have it all sorted out. I want answers. I can't wait. I'm bored of waiting.
I'm sick of having deja vu's, of creating them.

Perhaps it's my perception of fast and slow and the meaning I put behind two different things that make me feel that all reasons for this perception are external. Perhaps it's my subconsciousness that creates the deja vu's.

If that's so, then it's me who has all the power. I'm powerful and yet I feel so powerless...

ordinary thoughts

falling
dreaming
wondering
and crying
and standing
flying somewhere
exhausted
and left behind
hoping
and desperate altogether
passionate inside
but cold
...
visions
imaginary
glittering
...
waking up... and falling asleep
reality rejecting
and feeling queer
and being ordinary
and being happy
and confused as well
...
a crossroad
a mirror image of the past
a way to choose
a way to lose
someday, one day
it will be clear
...

Welcome to the OLD/NEW blog!!!

As I've already written on Facebook, I've swtiched the server I'm publishing my blog on.
The old one I was using enabled me to post with the adress *.myaiesec.net but due to some recent and forthcoming changes of the AIESEC online platform, I decided to permanently move to *.blogspot.com.
Anyways, I guess you don't care much about such detailed explanations, so:
from now on you can find me on http://tsvetana.blogspot.com/
I hope you'll continue visiting my blog!
See you! :)

repetition...

Is this real?
Am I really doing this? Am I dreaming or not?
Why did I let myself go this far when I know that such dreams are not a part of the real world?
Why do I persist dreaming? While I know that these dreams have brought me to nowhere in the past. They'll do it again if I persist.
Then why do I keep doing this? Of course I know why...
...and you know you have to stop... You must...

Internet connection misfortunes

I am pissed off by the internet connection problem I've been having since last Wednesday. I have explained all things in chronological order so many times that I'm very tired to explain them now here.
I still can't find the reason: sometimes I have internet, sometimes I don't. Sometimes when I should have I don't and, moreover, I have two LAN connections active. Which is impossible because both have exactly the same options.
I'm so pissed off... This problem makes me feel so insecure about all the information stored on my laptop...some kind of a reminder of the problems with my old PC...:(
One positive effect is that now I can spend more time on my preparation for the state exam. I guess that's enough for the pros.

If only...

The previous post in photos only.

The garden I was sitting in









The bench under the green umbrella (far left)












Aula Maxima. Big conference room. Small conference room










The first floor

The main corpus, front. Prof. Bobchev's monument. The "Tomorrow ours the world becomes" slogan













The ex-parking









A typical fast-food









A typical street









Fruits will be sold here after September 24th. I'll be there!

Business centre, bar, supermarket, pharmacy or...everything altogether?

September 17th, opening of the university year

Right now I'm having the strangest way of relaxing I've ever chosen. After a long afternoon spent with the administration at the UNWE, I'm having a nice rest in the inner garden of the university, sitting on a bench and typing this post on my laptop.
So many things have changed here for a year, and what about 4 years.
At the same time 4 years ago I was just starting my preparation for the university (at that time we were starting the year two weeks later than now. I was checking what the membership conditions for joining AIESEC were, some decorations of the flat I'm living in were done. That's what I only remember.
And now, four years later, I can hardly recognize this place. So many things have changed regarding the surroundings.
Studentski grad has become a much more crowded place. I see the first UNWE dorms block being renovated. I see more cars. I see more people. Most of all: I see more construction sites and less green areas.
I see difference at the university. Everything is renovated. The halls are shiny. During winter it isn't cold and one can't feel the wind blowing inside the rooms through the broken window-frames. The brand new online information system for students at the university is a new hit. Even the old-fashioned administration personnel is getting used to uploading more recent information on the website.
Yes, many things have changed: for good or bad. But behind the mask has anything changed at all?
Have people connected with the system become more polite that before?
Has the corruption, so typical for Bulgarian universities in general, been removed?
Have professors started paying more attention to state-of-the-art theories and practice?
I shall not answer the upper questions.

Global warming: how one can make a difference

I've joined the cause "Stop Global Warming" on Facebook
but I haven't thought of what I'm doing to stop it. It may sound silly that one can make a difference. It most probably is silly to think that a huge difference can be made. But who cares? I can do something. And who knows, maybe someone else randomly reading this post might get impressed and start doing it also and... the effect might be multiplied.

So, let's see what can be done in general and what I can at least do:

At home

Me: 7, 9 (recycling in general), 10 (walking, less taxis)

At work

Me: 1, 3, 4

Outdoors

Me: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Some options are not applicable, others - not currently able to do. But anyways, I do make a difference, don't I?

Today in photos

I'm in a leave for my exam studies, but today the weather was too good to stay at home over the books. So I went for a walk outside: to buy sports shoes and enjoy the good weather.

The day in photos:

It's 15th of September, the start of the school year, so all over the city there are various events in the afternoon. Something like: dear student, from tomorrow on you start school, it will be very, very tough, but relax - today is the last day of fun.
I passed by one of the events: a concert with the slogan "Support you school" - maybe a competition which school would collect the most points. Participants from the Music Idol sang at the show. Grown-ups were either waiting for their children around or were just passing by and joking about the enthusiasm of the students.











While children were having fun and adults were having fun when watching them, other adults were not having fun. Just few hundred meters from the venue definitely not few adults were forming a traffic jam. The cross of Raovski str. and Tsar Osvoboditel blvd. has always been a potential traffic jam place but since part of it was closed because of the metro construction, all potential has been fully realized. While I was crossing the street, a song came to my mind: Relax, take it e-ee-a-sy... :-D









The third time I see an arrow hanging from a wire somewhere in Sofia. The first was "City", the second "Chop" (one side) and "Shop" (the other). The third one: simply "Soft", the other side - drawings. So, is it SOFT out there?












Benches normally are always single. So rare to see a couple. At the back of the National Library.












Cats like sleeping on high places. This one didn't make an exception. I presume that place was a famous cat hotel because there was another cat sleeping on the other part of the fence. What a classical photo composition. :)))












And, finally, after a loooong walk (3 hours in total) I returned home. With the long-desired shoes. In fact, this photo should have been in first place because I first bought the shoes and then went for the big walk and took the other photos. But the order of photos is chronological based on their taking rather than the occurrence of events during the day. And the shoes: CONVERSE, yeah! :)

Self-control

Do I control myself better? Today was the day of anger. Apparently some people at UNWE think they are gods and poor students should listen and obey. Obviously they treat people in the most unfriendly and prejudices way they can.
Did it make me angry? Yes, I was enraged.
But it lasted much shorter than previous times.
I don't even call it control. I call it pity. For them.
And for me: there's good in every bad situation.

Private investigation

Is it true that unsolved issues turn into big snowballs with time?

Google returns "48 700 за unsolved+issue+snowball+time" for 0.22 seconds only!
The first result is:
You can carry maximum of 3 snowballs at time unless you find ballbag ... There are unsolved issues with bot pathfinding-system, so bots will get stuck. ...
snowwar.hlgaming.com/?page=2 - 11k

1. It's true. If I tell to my consciousness: solve the unsolved issues because with time they'll turn into huge snowballs and fall over you, then who will tell it to my subconsciousness?
2. It's not true. Correlation problem? a) Time doesn't affect the transformation into a snowball => snowballs can get formed even in the beginning. b) Snowballs are something too relative when trying to define the dimensions (different people - different measurement) => one cannot tell with certainty that an unsolved issue is a big one or not. c) There is no correlation between unsolved issues and snowballs at all so no matter how long it takes, the correlation is 0 (because unsolved issues are simply unsolved issues, nobody cares what will happen later on)

If go back to the lines where I've quoted Google, so then there could be 48 700 versions of a), b), c), etc.
Then why bothering? :)

This time it's random

Here I am - back in Sofia. My holiday lasted shorter than I intended. So now I'm here, trying to figure out what to do.
Now it's time for the random posts, I guess. It's always funny when I go after some time back in my posts and read all the ridiculous things I've written. I'd either not agree with what I'd written or I wouldn't agree with it.
This time I'll just make a short list of everything that has impressed me for the last few days or even weeks.

*The 180 degrees shift in the weather for the last few days. It was snowing in Germany, The Czech Republic and Serbia; the temperatures in western Bulgaria have fallen lower than 20 degrees, sometimes it's less than 10 degrees. And all these after the huge forest fires here and Greece, also in Italy, etc. Hmm, climate changes ahead. I feel so powerless to do something.
*Today I read about an entrepreneur who had notes ordered and put on every table in his restaurant with an apology to the clients for the price increase. Together with a logical explanation why the increase was needed: the prices of products had increased and by raising the prices he wanted to preserve the quality of the food served in his restaurant. Isn't it a nice flash of light through the darkness spread by the speculative actions of many like him who just raised the prices because people expected inflation and were probably ready to bare price increase of any product?
*My state exam is approaching and I don't feel like studying right now. I guess recently I've been too much involved in managing risks than evaluating them.
*I continue to believe in the connection cause-effect. The way something is done predefines the result. Or the latter was something else? Nevermind. Either ways I'll laugh afterwards :)

So, that's for now. If this one is read by someone, please forgive me for being ridiculous. I just like making people smile. :)))