I wonder what happens in the mind of people who know that they are guilty but they refuse to admit. The case with "Toplofikatsia Sofia" and the two CEO-s in a row to turn out to have been draining money from the company and transferring them to bank accounts in Austria and perhaps in other countries. Millions of leva, reliable proofs for the fraud, but they, of course, don't admit. I wonder what happens in one's brain in such cases? All human beings have the potential to do that, but not everyone is capable of something with such dimension.
"I haven't done anything I feel sorry for"?
"I don't care, I've got influential friends"?
If everyone cheats, why shouldn't I"?
"I'm not guilty, values have changed"?
'It's better to be me than someone else"?

If you stay in the arrest for a couple of days at least, does somehting change? If you have spent day and night to make plans for the frauds, do you feel just a little guilty or sorry for this only a week later? Or you have been prepared for such moment and everything is part of the Game?

I still wonder. If I reach the truth, it would be too easy, wouldn't it? If we were able to reach the truth so easy, there wouldn't be such people anymore. Why do we have people who analyze the human brain if after so many centuries so little has changed? There have always been "bad" people (although the meaning of the word "bad" is too subjective in my opinion). The combination of egocentrism and capability to forget the lessons of history up to now dooms us to go in a circle or better a spiral.

Are we going to leave this case in dusty folders somewhere in the corners of an archive room? And one day some children might read in ther history books that at that time the system was corrupt, moral was dirty word and "good" meant "the average bad"?

Change, World and Logic

I didn't expect it. I didn't want it. But it just came up to my mind. And I decided to record it here - to keep a memory of it.

When we fight for a change, in fact we fight against ourselves.

"How could I change the world as I can't even change myself..."
("Salva Mea", Faithless)

But what does "change" mean? Is it an action or a process? If it is an action, then is it right to say that - as each action has a result - change also has a result? If it does, then is this result the final boundary, or it is more like a benchmark?

Like everything on this Earth, there is no single answer.

Or the existence of the word and activity called "logic" proves that World is simpler than we normally think?

Too far-fetched thoughts of mine, I suppose. As usual. :)

I'm not the person I used to be exactly 1 year ago. And yet I'm the same inside. The passion for something... The beliefs... The acceleration... Yes, maybe fallen into deeper waters, but maybe a little bit wiser. Still naive? I guess so. Optimist? Yes.
Society is the same. Bulgarian mentality (the negative pert) - as well.
Is it true that one always conforms with the environment? That one subconsciously, inevitably , without a fixed plan or agenda gets closer to the average Bulgarian with average mentality with predominantly negative biases?

An ordinary world

...
Still I can't escape the ghost of you
...
What has happened to it all?
Crazy, some are saying
Where is the life that I recognize?
Gone away
...
Papers in the roadside
Tell of suffering and greed
Here today, forgot tomorrow
Ooh, here besides the news
Of holy war and holy need
Ours is just a little sorrowed talk
....
And I don't cry for yesterday
There's an ordinary world
Somehow I have to find
And as I try to make my way
To the ordinary world
I will learn to survive

About forgetting and forgiving and one commemoration

Does mind really have the ability to forget? If it doesn't, then if forgiveness should be given after one "forgets", ...there's should't be forgiveness at all! But yet, it exists - otherwise the word would have been useless and thus it would have been forgotten. But if we assume that there is no such thing as "forget", then the word "forgive" sould be remembered, not forgotten.
A week ago, on the 24th of November, the world commemorated Freddie Mercury, the frontman of Queen, who died from AIDS in 1991. Several years ago in late November I was sleeping in my bed. It was just about time for my alarm clock to ring when I started dreaming. I saw myself as a close friend of Freddie, I was staying beside him, while he was suffering, I was suffering with him. Then I suddenly woke up and in my dizziness, the first thing I did un(sub?)consciously was to check what the date was. Neither had I any idea what date it was, nor I remembered what had happened on that day in 1991. I saw it was the 24th of November. Then, still sleepy, I understood. And I was shocked.
From time to time I remind myself of this dream. It is my proof that nothing is completely lost and forgotten, that subconsciously a person always remembers. So yes - if everything is stored somewhere in your brain, "backed up" in a shady corner, then nobody forgives. If you say "I forgive you", you might think you really mean it, but as lng as you still remember, there will always be "that something" to remind you of the old times.
But nothing in this world is simple, nor it is complicated, just complex. The very widespread hypothesis that we use a tiny part of our brain, might be true. Even I can't tell what will come next to my mind in probably a month. This is not inconsistency, this is just the normal path of life.
Inequality exists only in people's minds. Equations could be found everywhere in the Universe, otherwise everthing would have been blown away already. Like any other creature or just thing which exists, human beings try to get away from this inequality and turn to the equation. We never stop doing it - as proved above, we never forget, subconsiously.
One of the basic equations, used also as a basic principle in accounting:
Asset = Liability + Asset (Y amount) - Liability(Y amount)
In accounting its existence is verified annually. In life this check is done every moment.

Boa noite.

On and off

It has happened twice this evening and for the third time for the last 24 hours (at least these are the times I was asleep and could count) - the electricity has been cut off. For 5 minutes or less only, but enough to turn my computer off and all my data to get lost. The last 2 days were pretty cold, the maximum temperature in Sofia is not more than 6-7 C, and I don't want to think abouit the minimum... Since the beginning of the "central heating season" power demand is increasing - due to the fact that many people don't want to pay to the cantral heating company "Toplofikatsia" because they overcharge A LOT. So the electricity supply is so needed...
The problem is that we become more and more dependent on the suppliers of fuel for the power stations. One of the biggest thermo-electric power plants lacks coal because Ukraine doesn't let Russian coal to pass through its borders and doesn't export its own neither. So it is possible that in late December, when the station is much needed and its electricity used - there would be no supply of coal, thus no electricity...
The bigger problem is that 3th and 4th block of the nuclear power plant are to be closed after January 1st 2007. Nuclear energy has almost 50% contribution to the overall production. When these blocks shut down, the consequence will be that Bulgaria probably won't export electricity anymore, and the market niche will be occupied by other supplier. Of course, the official reason for shutting down the two blocks is that this is a requirement Bulgaria should fulfill in order to be compliant with the EU policies. The nuclear reactors are Soviet-made - from the same type as the one at Chernobyl. Among the average Western European the name of the reactor causes trembling, and among the average Western European businessman in the sector the name is associated by the word: "competition". What is a more convenient apology to shut down a reactor than that: it might be dangerous because it's from the same type as the one at Chernobyl. Everyone knows that machines usually are correct, only human mistakes prevent them from operating normally.
Our politicians could have done something to oppose, rather than accepting the conditions. It's quite obvious that behind the excuses about EU requirements more serious reasons are standing.
Nuclear energy is one of those who still have future on this earth. Thermonuclear synthesis - even more. If we build the second nuclear power plant, we would be more independent - well - relatively at least. Everyone knows that Russia through its own company Gasprom is monopolizing the sector in some countries, and in others - the supply. But at least this energy is of the types which still have future. Though it's much more risky than other methods, there are people who make sure that accidents don't happen. So if we want to be independent about production, we should not give up this technology at all.

Story of/about the day

Small snowflakes as if appearing frowm nowhere fall on the ground and immediately get lest between the grass and/or mud. Sleepy people wait at the bust stop, stamping one foot, then the other on the ground. A big truck and a bus No. 72 "stare" at each other and the truck finally surrenders and draws back. The streets are still empty, traffic jams: only 30 minutes to go. Silence has spread acrosss the corridor when I enter the building. The open window at the flight of stairs is opened and fresh, but chilly air is entering inside. The key cannot open the door - as if the door has forgotten that this key is made to fit in its locker. The bells of the church start ringing as if from somewhere very far away, as if from the past - but the new day has begun. Heavy snow begins falling in the afternoon. This time te view from the window is limited because of the huge snowflakes. Silently, the day passes by and makes space for the darkness. The boulevard is full of people, not only cars with people inside, but people standing in its middle with eyes staring at te distance. But the desired bus won't come that time again. Te city is suffocating under the traffic created by cars passing to and fro: some won't catch cold this evening. There's only space for the snowflakes between the cars. Dust turns into mud, but people cross the "meant-to-be-grass-covered" areas boldly. Luggage is heavy, but some people show immense strength in order to climb the few stairs to the top. Snow continues to fall, imposing the reflection of past late-December times. The bus is on time, as usual - expected to be at least 10 minutes late. Speed gives the best chance of preventing feet from freezing. It's time for umbrella strength test. Passed. The driver feels cold too, and he probably thinks that the bus feels cold as well, thus the bus shouldn't stop at the bus stops. Lucky, lucky, lucky: this driver seems to feel sympathetic for people with almost frozen feet and snow-covered umbrellas. The snow continues falling.

On this day 22 years ago

On a chilly October day 22 years ago I was born.
Today, on a warm autumn day I am celebrating my 22th birthday.
It hasn't been a huge celebration, just the traditional cake from my grandmother - the one I receive as a present from her everytime on my birthday. Then - voting for the president elections, and finally - going with some friends to Bankya.
I am so happy that I was born exactly on that day. I've always believed that signs stuff isn't something serious, but that's because the daily horoscopes on the newspapers aren't serious. Nevertheless, I've started believing more and more that the day of your birth and the environment you are born in has a huge impact on one's life. That's why that day - 29th of October - is a day of big celebration - not necessarily "external", but probably mostly "internal".
Big THANKS to all the people in my life who have been helping me shape it the way it is today.

After a long day full of excitement, I sit here in front of the PC, and dream about something I really want to do - to visit Portugal. This would be one of the best presents I've made to myself, so from now own this will be my goal... and probably one day I'll manage to give make this present to myself...Till then - only studying Portuguese and listening to fado..:)

The signs

A car almost hit me today because the driver decided to pass through the bus stop instead of waiting half a minute for the other cars - while heading to a nearby parking. I turned left and in the next moment a silver car, new and expensive model, passed less than 30 cm by me. I don't even want to think what would have happened if I had decided to make a step forward in that moment instead of turning my head left.
I got so angry that I was intending to run after the car and write down the registration numbers and signalize the police, but my bus came and I gave up.
I was very lucky to be at the place I was in that moment. It just confirms the thought in my previous posting: that everything is determined by forces we can't control.

Thought of the day:

Everything is determined by forces over which we have no control. It is determined for the insect as well as for the star. Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust - we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper.

Albert Einstein

Silence

Have you ever felt that you're travelling thousands, even millions of kilometers away. As if you are crossing the Galaxy, while approaching to the end of the Universe (if there's really a definite end). Anything you pass by is so obscure that you don't realize it's actually been there. And you aren't seen either. Only a flash and that's it.
There is no sound. Your speed is so fast that you can't hear anything, neither can they - the ones standing aside noticing the flash.
Freedom is such an infinite thing. The dome under which you are free. What is the dome? There's only one thing which is big enough and endless enough to be the dome above: the sky, respectively the Universe.
Human mind knows no boundaries, or at least there aren't any reached yet. I have always been fascinated by the unknown yet abilities a human brain or human soul or both have got. I have heard that there was a documentary about a scientific analysis of water molecules. A glass of water got a label "LOVE" on it and was put in a museum to be watched by people passing by. Before the experiment, the water inside was analyzed and its molecule turned out to be a normal one. After the end of the experiment with the label, the same water was analyzed and it turned out that its molecule has changed its shape. I haven't seen the documentary, I haven't got much knowledge about the conditions, and the scientific theories about water molecules, but WHAT IF...? Just imagine, about 60-70% of human body consists of water...
So just imagine it could be only a flash away...

All my thoughts are flowing into a single funnel, accelerating and directing them in one single channel, and they are mixing, and each one thought is influiencing the others and, subsequently, all of them intensify...and my head is about to explode.

It's the control over brain and lack of control at the same time. It is as if you make efforts to direct the stream to the funnel. At the same time, I am not thinking about anything in particular, and everything I could be thinking about is there on both of my sides in the space, and I'm travelling so fast that I can't be noticed and I cannot notice anything...

There are times when I just want to turn back the time and do things differently. Then it would have been easier, wouldn't it? Well, I guess no. Regrets have always been part of my life. And also lessons.
There's a contradiction between two thesis: that one person is the mastor of his/her life and can change destiny. The other one is that the change of destiny itself is a destiny.
If I had followed the first one, I would have blamed myself for doing this or that or for not doing this or that because the action could have changed my destiny. In a better way, of course (as we are used to think, the expression "change my destiny" is used with positive meaning).
I have chosen to believe in the second thesis: that whatever you do, it's always your destiny. I go back to a topic very recently touched in my blog, but what can I do, again its destiny.
One would think that I am one of those conformist people, leaving themselves on the tide and following other people and their opinions blindly, and doing nothing by themselves while waiting things to happen.
Well, that's not the case. There is one belief that a person could sense which is the right way to choose. And then the wheel just turns...

The signs are to be read, but if you don't read them in the right way, then some time later you realize that you have made a mistake. Signs should be read in the right way. Then how to know that you are reading the sign in the right way?

All about Sofia, part II

In Sofia, there is a very nice part of the centre, full of parks and gardens and beautiful old buildings. It is situated between Shipka str., Evlogi Georgiev blvd., Yanko Sakazov blvd. and Vasil Levski blvd.



The beginning of my walk that day started from Sofia University. It was the opening of the university year there and the area was full of 1st year students. But there was one small bench, staying alone with nobody to get interested in sitting on it. That happened in the Doctors' Garden, a small, but a very beautiful park between Shipka str. and Oborishte str.




Then I passed by the British Council which in fact could be seen on the photo with the bench. It's just on the corner of Oborishte str. and Krakra str. Walking in Krakra str., I reached Yanko Sakazov blvd. and entered "Oborishte" park, previously known as "Zaimov" park. Compared to other parks such as Borisova gradina and Iujen (Soouth) park, it's a small one, but you can stoll through it for more than a kilometer. Yesterday was a warm and sunny autumn day so there were many people: from children to retired people enjoying the weather and fresh air. People were cleaning the alleys from the fallen leaves and a small truck was collecting the rubbish. All fountains were on. Hm, yes, they are also sponsored by a company - this time by Darik radio whose office is nearby at Dondukov blvd. But nevermind, it's enough that they're turned on, I like it. And one can't see the small signs from the distance, so it's not disturbing at all.
There were photographers - I guess professional ones or professional amateurs - judging by the big machines they were carrying. :) I didn't have the courage to take photos near them with my small "tourist-suited" camera :-D


I reminded myself of the great times I've had in
this park with my classmates. We used to walk to this park from NDK! My high school is situated behind NDK (in fact, a tram stop away from NDK), but we used to walk kilometers after school in order to go to this park - just to play table-tennis. On the next photo one of the tables can be seen. It's not very clear because of the strange way the alley is made. It was done 1 or 2 years before I graduated high school and the first time I saw it I couldn't believe. So strange! :)

Yes, it was a good walk with lots of good memories appearing. The smiling weather just made my day. :)

Changes

What is one of the things I like the most? It's being original, not copying from others or conforming with the crowd, just being myself. Yes, but do I really do it? Hm, I don't know about that, one never knows, but at least I could do something. It may sound funny, but one of the things I should start with is my blog. :-D
Since I've started, I've posted so many messages with different kind of story. And when I mean different, I really mean DIFFERENT - from my own thoughts about life to what I've seen that day in Sofia. :)
Then, I thought, I need to put to this blog an outlook which differs it from the typical ones with ready templates.
So... I've started refurbishing it. Like a sofa which you've bought but the cover is just too ordinary and many other people have it and you want to be YOUR sofa, not the sofa like somebody else's. Lol, even to me it sound so ridiculous...
But I stop here with the loooong explanations.
I've just started reminding how to use HTML..at first. Then we'll see. I hope the people who visit and read my blog like it and have the feeling that this is really me who's behind this stuff.
:-D

Cat trio

Sometimes it happens that the best performers ever gather accidentally.

Mr. Spoilty
The beginning was set by Macho, the white tomcat, the most spoilt and lazy of its kind. Most of the time, he stays in the yard, always keeping an eye on the house... in case my grandmother forgets feeding him - to remind her with his moaning. He's the frst to welcome my father each time ge comes back home and jumps into the opened door of the car... it's difficult to take him out of there, believe me!







Miss Devil
She's the lady of the house, but if you see the way she behaves, you'll decide she's the only TOMcat. Lisa originates from the city of Bankya, where she decided to attend an AIESEC seminar for newies - a newie herself (only 1-2 months old), she chose me to take care of her. After few months spent meowing in the flat, she decided it's high time to move to the country and now she's the mistress of the house, doing whatever she wants to and forming the tomcats in column. She opens the front door of the house whenever she wants (except from the cases when the door is locked just exactly for that reason). And believe me, on this photo she's in a good mood!






Mr. Driveller
The last, but not least of importance hero is Kolio. His appearance on the scene is full of mystery. No one yet knows where he came from. Rumours spread by my grandmother say that he used to live in the yard of a neighbour called Nikolai (shortly Kolio), so my grandmother decided to call him like that. Now his name is Kolio. Kolio is a very affectionate tomcat, always ready to caress your leg with his funny tiny tail. When Lisa opens the door, he enters first. And, of course, he's the first to receive a hit by my grandmother. Loved and hated at the same time, he remains the most controversial representative of the trio.

More photos of the trio:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/91293933@N00/

Insomnia

Hm, insomnia is a good thing when you want to surf the net. Or just the other way round??? I don't know, but if next time I decide to try a new type of instant coffee, I definitely won't drink it after 11 p.m.
Obviously, when people don't drink coffee regularly, they aren't used to it so when they drink after a long period of rest, they just CAN"T GET SLEEP!!!
It's so frustrating waiting for Faithless - Insomnia to download :-D It would be much quicker to find on one of my CDs, buuuut... :-D

Lol, I don't know even if there's someone here on the net who cares about my insomnia...if I can call it like that...I guess the better termin is "coffee overdose" :-D
So it's good to have the website www.trekearth.com ;) I only wish I could post a good photo this time... the more I post, the more awful my photos get.
I have noticed something funny about myself: sometimes I just can't stop talking/in this case - typing/ about anything and change subjects very fast. And the reasons for this are several:
- when I feel cold
- when I'm tired
- when I'm hungry
- when I'm feeling cold, tired and hungry

Luckily, the last point is not the case here, otherwise I would have already gone to the fridge...just to get food and then back to my room and take ten blankets. No, I guess I'm tired. Coffee can't prevent me from falling asleep, I'm determined to succeed.

And if there's anyone who still thinks that I'm a normal person, think twice. :-D
Good night and till next time >;)

Another day and night

Another day passed. Nothing special. Just the usual contemplations over Life, the Universe and Everything. Another day when life threw its challenges to my face. It's so annoying sometimes. Sometimes you just want to say "stop" and start over again.

One thing is quite interesting. When you have to make a big choice, as if the whole Universe helps you make it by offering you small surprises, and chance or coincidence doesn't play any role here at all. And especially when something like this happens to you and you consciously follow it, then you really start believing that there's no such thing like choice at all. There's always destiny. Or God. Or whatever. You cannot escape it. Whatever you do, it's always been "written down" somewhere that this would happen one day. And it does happen.

I have no scientific proof for this, there's no need of any such. I just can feel it's true.

So, even if you are on a crossroad and you have to choose between several ways, the one you choose is always pre-defined, coded in your genes, recorded as a nerve impuls in your brain and it's high time it got activated just in the right moment.

Then what's the conclusion, if any? If something is meant to happen, it WILL. That's why I love life. :)

Past and present

This is St. Evtimii, Patriarch Tarnovski, an individual who plays major role in the history of Bulgaria.
He was born around 1327 in the old Bulgarian capital: Veliko Tarnovo. Very young, he becomes a monk in Kilifarevo Monastery, which was a famous learning centre.

With the time, he created a theologian school with great importance. Famous for his faith, ascetism, education and inspiration, he became the Patriarch of the Bulgarian Orthodox Church in 1375. He becomes a patriarch following the people's will in times difficult for our country. At that time, the Ottoman empire had already started to threaten the existence of an independent Bulgarian state. During those times, he was not only the patriarch, but also the protector of the Bulgarian people. In 1393, the capital Veliko Tarnovo fell under the seige of the Ottomans, and it is said that Patriarch Evtimii was the one who kept the spirit of the Bulgarains alive to fight for their freedom.

There is a saying that after the city fell under the attacks, the Ottomans sentenced Evtimii Tarnovski to death. In the moment the executioner raised his hand to behead him, his hand turned to stone.
Some sources tell that the patriarch was sent to exile in the southern paets of Bulgaria where he died around 1401-1402.

While reading more about his life, I reminded myself about this great individual. I reminded myself of the both glorious and hard past we've had. Are we still going to repeat the mistakes in our past over and over again? Bulgarian people has shown so much strength and persistence through times but also lack of integrity and leaving the national interests behind for egoistic matters. History repeats itself and I strongly believe that for our past mistakes the main ones to blame were us. I really hope that we are heading for better times when our people will be more patriotic and united. History has shown that we lack this (excluding the times when we fought for our freedom). And where are our leaders? Who will unite us? Do we have a person like St. Patriarch Evtimii Tarnovski to unite us? I hope there will be. It's high time there shown one. As history repeats itself, and our recent history doesn't remember someone like him, thus there should appear such individual...

All about Sofia, part I

This is the first post of a series dedicated to Sofia: the way the city looks today, trying to follow the direction it's developing. This is also a series trying to show the impact of this development on its inhabitants: whether it's hidden beauty=demonstrative ugliness, or pure beauty, it will be shown and commented.

In this way I'd like to keep the memory of the way it looked at the time I made every comment and then go back whenever I want to. Time always makes us forget or change our perceptions of one thing or another, and the best way to fight it is to keep the photos and notes.



So, Vitosha blvd. continues to be only pedestrian zone. Trams are the only vehicles allowed. Of course, this isn't always the case: the arrogant unpunished criminals don't obey and pass untroubled.


Now it's much nicer to walk there. In autumn, the old chestnut trees stretching between both ends of the boulevard have their leaves re-painted by the season in all variations of yellow, orange and brown. It gets even funnily dangerous walking under them because all the time chestnuts are smashing on the ground with high speed. :)





The old public bath is still under re-construction. :( It's been ages since the reconstruction has started...probably I wasn't born at that time. In these autumn days the small square in front of it is hosting numerous events. One day there was a fashion-show in open-air. And the day I took the photo there was an exhibition of...honey producers :) Yes, it's still going on. And honey is quite popular thing here in Bulgaria.




In the middle of August street reconstruction began in Sofia. Many of the major boulevards were closed which has caused major traffic jams. Additionally, in the beginning of September Sofians started returning from their summer holidays and the city became blocked... Every day, they get stuck in huge traffic jams at places and times of the day which normally are calm. The photo is showing Opalchenska str. Currently it's closed between Todor Aleksandrov blvd and Aleksandar Stamboliiski blvd and many drivers go crazy because there are traffic jams in the streets and boulevards which are the alternatives of the closed one. Obviously, this driver here couldn't wait and passed through the closed area. I saw many of them passing and just went closer and waited... I knew that sooner or later someone else would get nervous and thus tempted to break the rules...








Wow, the newest shopping centre/mall is opened! It's quite huge and is 5 minutes from my place! :) I was at the Opening and it was rather crowded. The building actually is a very old one: it used to be a deserted construction site, probably of a plant or something like that. But someone wisely decided to use it for a better purpose. Before it was quite scary passing by this place in the evening: homeless dogs, suspicious pedestrians... Now it's not like that. :) And what is more, there's the biggest Fantastiko, store I've ever seen... well, more money will be spent on food... :-D I'm so happy that there's also the Extreme Bowling centre just like in Studentski grad But it's on two levels... and much closer to my place, which is the bigger plus. :)))




Finally, the place I visited several times these days, was the Mall of Sofia. It's a rather expensive place, situated on the corner of Opalchenska str. and Aleksandar Stamboliiski blvd. (the place I took the photo of the street area in reconstruction).
It was opened several months ago: also filling unused space taken by the foundations of an unfinished construction site from communist times.
If you want to have a shopping therapy, better not choose this place. Prices are quite scary. I've thought they're too high even for rich Sofians but obviously that's not the case: people buy, and buy, and buy... I love the Onda coffee shop: you can sit in an armchair with a cup of chocolate or coffee and watch the people in the street pass by you and only a thin glass separates you... :)


So that's all for now... It's good to write about Sofia, it's some kind of relaxing when you need relaxation. I just think of the nice times spent going around the not-always-nice-looking city and I simply...relax :)

A journey to a star...

Recently it's been one of those times I've been feeling melancholic. It's times like this: when the falling yellow-orange-brownish leaves and chestnuts, that make me just sit on a chair, and think about all the things that are happening...
And the journey to the deepest parts of your mind never goes far without the right kind of music. This time it's "A Journey To A Star" by Lemongrass. What a discovery! It's pure deep house; and a loop as if being a sample from a very old song (sounding like 30-40's style) is used. The man is singing quite sadly, "...a journey to a star.." The sounds of piano just add to the feeling that the song is bringing in... As if the man is just about to start crying, but one can never understand whether he did it or not... As if the piano is crying. The soft electronic beat is lifting this feeling...And the sad tones of the piano introduce the end, leaving the listener to keep the same feeling alive in his thoughts after it's over...

Today's tragedy in Sofia

I was just about to post about my happy moments going shopping in the new mall in the neighbourhood, when I saw on the TV the news: an old building in reconstruction has collapsed in the very centre of Sofia at 6:08 p.m. today and two girls died in a car smashed by the debris. The building used to be situated on 39 Alabin str., on the corner with Lege str. Rescuers still keep on searching for people under the rubble.
At that time I was travelling to the centre for shopping and, luckily, decided to enter the area from the side of NDK. At 6:08 p.m. I was on the corner of Vitosha blvd. and Patriarch Evtimii blvd., only 10 minutes away (on foot) from the place.
For the last few years, the 100- and older buildings in the centre have passed through numerous reconstructions to be fit for the luxurious boutiques of world-famous trade-marks. Key walls have been removed, new arrangements have been made and no or poor control over safety regulations has been kept.
It's so sad that only after a tragedy like this happens the institutions in charge start working more strictly.
I really hope that in this case those responsible will take the blame and measures will be taken that things like that don't happen again...

~~~
Copyright of the photo: www.netinfo.bg

A letter of gratitude

Over the last few years, I've gone through a long way. I've passed through many challenges, and I've learned a lot. And for all those hard times, there have been people who have helped me so much consciously or unconsciously.
Thank you, mum and dad, for always staying by my side and supporting me even if you haven't agreed with my decisions. I owe it to you the most for being the person I am today.
Thank you, auntie, for the sensible pieces of advice you've always been giving me.
Thank you, Milen, for being a true friend and for always supporting me and giving me courage.
Thank you, Maria, for helping me choose my direction when I've been on crossroads.
Thank you, Pav, for always saying what's on your mind, even if I don't like it: honest people like you should always exist.
Thank you, Tan4e, for giving me such inspiration with your spirit and thoughts.
Thank you, Stasi, for always being a role model for strength for me.
Thank you, Serj, for appearing always in the right moments and cheering me up.
Thank you, all my family and friends, for making me the person I am today. All I can do in return is to try to mean the same to you.


~~~

IC experience

How should I start? Should there be a right start for this? I think you know the answer. It's been only a week since IC is over and I still can't recollect all the moments that happened to me - it was such an intense period. Luckily, there are the agenda and the photos. Even though I only recollect single momens. Like snapshots.

CEE pre-meeting - Bulgarian delegation enters the room. Bulgarian delegation meets Bulgarian delegate for the first time in real: welcome, Geri! :))) The CEE director Jarda speaks, then the GN board. Sessions passing by. The meeting about ER on GN level on the lawn outside the building. CEE functional meetings: VPFs of CEE rock!!! :) AI visit. The present themselves one by one, Dey speaks last. Kiko taking photos all the time. :)

Preparation for IC. At the stage performing the roll-call of the Bulgarian delegation...hmm in front of 550 people. :) Global Village!!! Warszawa city centre with the Palace of Culture and Science again! Full of colours! At least 100 people dancing AIESEC dances in front of the stage. Bulgarian cuisine was the hit!!! PAI Dey talking with PAIs since 1997 online! Yellow baloons flying around during the DHL/DPWN launch. The chair David and his awesome spirit! Sessions "Pioneer in me" with david start. IC LIVE!!! Wow! Michelle is typing every single word in AIESEC Dialogues - the topic "Who will change the world". Every 5 mins she's posting the collected opinions!!!

TATA Consultancy Services will be the new IS vendor! In 2007 - launch of the new IS based on @XP!!!!!! The lights are red, then the other lights go on...the ppt starts... Alumni Hall of Fame! The people who have contributed so much to AIESEC...So inspiring.

PWC postcards - original, inspiring, awesome! Cool ads ;)

Lech Walesa speaking about Solidarity. IG workshops time. Finance IG rocks! The learning circle was great, so diverse opinions?! So much chocolate...only huge crowds for coffee...:) I got addicted to chocolate and coffee...

HP cafe! Cool, only if there was enough time to browse http://live.ic2006.pl/Meetings with some VPFs around the network... It's good to know you're not alone :-D

Yeah, parties, of course :))) Work hard-party hard principle in practice :)))

Bowling - I'm the best! :) I made a strike!!! I know I'm a master ;))) People sleeping in the bus on the way back to the campus.

AIESEC University Live! What are you doing to make issue-based experiences happen? Our organization is expanding. we make a bigger impact. Every day. We're becoming truly Global! The establishment of a sixth GN: Middle East and North Africa (MENA)! Two more official country expansions: Bahrain and Qatar!!!

Developing Leaders Day: Leading from within with ABN AMRO and Cadburry Schweppes! Time to discover a LOT about yourself. Coffee break. Someone next to me says: there is one country in the world where people nod in the opposite way: the nod for "yes" in the rest of the world there means "no" and the same about the nod for "no". Surprise, we're from that country, haha! :-D

Brodie in the plenary speaking about the previous AI term. Brodie in the plenary speaking about inspiration. PAI - PAI hug and greets. The whole plenay is standing. The present part of AI team 05/06 is standing in front.

Then all of them leave the stage. Dey speaks.

EVERY DAY STARTS TODAY!

Yeah, finally back blogging!

It's been a month, hasn't it?
Yeah, after some stupid bugs in the system and stupid mistakes of mine, I'm finally back! :-D
Some data might be lost, but passion - no!
So, what's next?
Time: yes, but in low-productive times of the day
Agenda: hmm, a lot to tell about IC and more news about GAME expected soon. :-D
Next step: this post is over.

:-D

Tough agenda and...

It's August 10th, and the countdown to IC has started...

I've got a lot of work to do for preparation, and I can't wait to start. I must finish the current financial documents and submit them to the accountant. Hmm, I think documents have always been the most boring part of finance...phew, operational work ;))) Imagine a number of expense orders: more than 100! Wow, quite a lot, isn't it?

But the good thing is that now I can enter all the data in an expense order even in my dream :-D

Soo, the time has come to go to the accountant - I'm sure she'll appreciate my correct and clear document procession. I'm the best, I know it, don't need to tell me ;o

The biggest challenge of all

What's the biggest challenge of all?
Climb the highest mountain? Dive into the deepest waters?

No.

The biggest challenge is to overcome your fears and drawbacks by facing them straightly.

The answers are always simple, you just have to find the right questions. And that's the hardest task of all. Keep searching.

Quotation of the day:

Don't let go of your dreams. If you have determination and belief in your dreams, you will succeed in spite of your desire to let go.

Catherine Pulsifer

What a day! I overslept and arrived at the office 40 minutes late!!! Oh, God! I've been so tired recently. I wish I could go away from civilization for a couple of days. I was planning to go to Vitosha this weekend, but plans changed.

I want to "charge my batteries" and I'm wondering what's the best way to do it without neglecting my responsibilities? I want to do something with is good both for the body and the MIND. For several years I've been thinking about going to Yoga classes. Simple fitness training won't do the work, I think the surrounding of equipment and technichs isn't good for the eye, thus for the mind. All I need is a strong will and some research about Yoga classes - things like time, place, etc. which are convenient for me.

I guess this is the best option from many others. In this way I'll make up for the lost time for myself. Time for myself? Yes - of course time for oneself includes all your life, but what I mean is time for reflection on some things which I'd rather not share and keep for myself only.

So, it will be Yoga classes. Surprisingly, I'm listening to DM's "Enjoy The Silence" - somehow part of the concept of the song applies to the context of this posting. (Wow, isn't it getting complicated?:) )

Don't Worry, Be Happy! :)

...
In every life we have some trouble
But when you worry you make it double
Don't worry, be happy.
Don't worry, be happy now.
...
*(Look at me -- I'm happy.
Don't worry, be happy.
Here I give you my phone number.
When you worry, call me, I make you happy.
Don't worry, be happy.)
...
Don't worry, be happy.
'Cause when you worry your face will frown
And that will bring everybody down
...
Put a smile on your face. Don't bring everybody down.
Don't worry. It will soon pass, whatever it is.

Bobby McFerrin - "Don't Worry, Be Happy"

Mel Gibson case - much ado about nothing

Surprisingly, as I was surfing through the Technorati website, I found out with amazement that the most popular tag was "Mel Gibson" I wondered why? The next ones were "Lebanon", "Israel", and so on. It turned out that he's been drunk and shouting anti-semitic words. Well, sometimes I wonder whether this issue is overexposed. I'm definitely not saying that people should call Jews names, etc. and show their intollerance. But there are double standards. While such ridiculous cases (as the person in question had been drunk) condemn anti-semitism, other people (probably the same people that condemn the first cases) repeatedly talk against "terrorist" arabs, sizing them equally. So it's justified to have racial discrimination, religious discrimination except from Jewish people? There should be equal standards of treatment to everyone. No exceptions.

How could they?

Oh, God.
Your creation is doing massacres, showing no mercy.
While I was enjoying the great company of 10 people from AIESEC, drinking beer, laughing, playing a funny game... at another place on the Earth people suffered again. And some of them lost the opportunity their lives to end peacefully... The next in a row of massacre air strikes 60 people were killed in their sleep by the Israeli air force... There's no excuse for this act. Even if Hisbullah were hiding there, should the saying be repeated: an eye for an eye???

"...
A kitten mewed as it scampered over the ruins of its dead owner's home. On a patch of land beside the house, tobacco leaves threaded on wires dried to a wrinkled brown in the sun. Beside the partially demolished house was a deep crater, a familiar sight in South Lebanon, where hundreds of buildings have been flattened by powerful aerial bombs.
..."
copyright of Nicholas Blanford, specially for Daily Star, July 31st 2006
http://www.dailystar.com.lb/article.asp?edition_id=1&categ_id=2&article_id=74379


People of Lebanon, you feel that the world has forgotten you and is doing nothing to help you while your beautiful country is being destroyed. The officials of states might not do what they have to, but ordinary people like me haven't stopped thinking about how you feel now and pray that this injustice stops as soon as possible...

Silent moment - enjoying the sounds.

Today, while I was waiting for my precious bus No.9 after being in the MC office, I was listening to some music on my CD player. It was Bob Marley this time. Normally, I always listen to music and don't want to hear what's going on around me. But this time it was different. I just looked around me and stopped the player for a while.
The city is quiet. People pass by. The trees in front moving in the directions the wind was blowing silently. A bus stopping. Some people get in, after that the noise of the ticket perforators inside. Click! The mechanism making the bus doors close and the specific sound is heard. A plane landing passes over. Laughters behind me. In the other direction - someone already going in the distance is explaining something to someone else...

It was a magic moment. A moment of silence and yet - of sounds. The sounds of silence :) If these are the sounds of silence, then I love it.

Funny dough

My grandmother always prepares something delicious for me before I leave to Sofia. :) This time it was pizza. She prepares the dough and puts it in the fridge. so the last time she made pizza was last Sunday. My father opened the fridge and saw what? The dough not only grown in volume (as it has to be) but the bylon bag almost torn by it and a huge closed space with air between the dough and the bag. It looked as if it was going to explode :)

Sometimes life is like a flow. Not that it has a beginning and definitely an end. Most of all, it's like a river flowing faster and faster.You have no time to turn back and if you turn, the only thing you'll realize is that you're going farther and farther, and the distance between you and the place you've started the journey is getting bigger.

Every person has got a separate karma, thus the flow is going faster with some people, and with others - more slowly. One cannot choose a life and the speed of the flow. Through all their lives, some people dream of a flow that goes much faster than it is, and others - for a much slower flow. The strength of will could be enough at some point. But from then on... just useless tries.

Just go with the flow. Don't make too much efforts to change. You're just fine like that. People say ignorance is bliss. I don't know whether that's right or not, but it sounds nice...sometimes. Who said never to stop asking questions? I'd add "questions about yourself". What's the point? It's just a materialistic world, a world which makes the flow run much faster than the normal speed. And how can one return to their true self when we're always dependent on that surrounding world? We're a part of it. Unless everyone decide upon this, it's useless to try.

Then what's the point in following that direction of the flow? What can be the solution? You should change the direction. Definitely. Somehow. Someday. It's like fighting with yourself. You'll be both a winner and a loser. Then what will be the final result? Here maths can't be applied. The cost of what you lose could be higher than the gain from the winner prize.

Hmm..another reminder. Which turns me back to the real world...

What's the Purpose?

Is it enlightenment? Or the so-called state "Nirvana"? And why do I always reach such conclusions late after midnight while listening to Depeche Mode? (By the way, nice track - "Nothing's Impossible" from their latest album - "Playing The Angel")
And if I can choose what to believe in, I believe in this one above. People have never stopped asking themselves what their purpose of being is.
Or if I have to refer to my latest post with the lyrics of "I Don't Know" - we can't be certain...

But why not? Or as the editors of the website about wave structure of matter write, there's only one ultimate truth. Out there. Then how can one be sure?
That's why I believe in the power of science. It can prove everything, but only if it finds the true path, the true clues... and that's the purpose of science.

As to purpose of life, I don't know...Who does know???
And yet, that's the worthiest quest. What else should we be living for? Making money? Spending them on luxurious goods??? I doubt.

Funny, some people make money in order to live, but others live in order to make money...

Full stop.

I don't know...

What's pleasing to the eye

In the delusion of my sight

Is not what I find when I reach into the light

I have lost my mind

I'm walking through time

Deluded as the next guy

Pretending and hoping to find

That distant peace of mind

I don't know

Who does know

There is no

Where to go

It's not so simple as I try to wish

But then again what is?

There is no other worthy quest

So on I go

I don't know

Who does know

There is no

Where to go

Beastie Boys, "I Don't Know"

About the conflict from the source

While searching for some information about Lebanon, I found a link to a Lebanese newspaper in English, and its online forum in particular:

http://www.dailystar.com.lb/forums/

Wow, you can learn more about the issue from its very source - the ordinary people from the two nations!

The age of Aquarius

Some thoughts in the comments that made me think of something I've already thought of previously.

There's a theory that from the beginning of the 20th century the Earth has come under the influence of the next astrological sign in back order - Aquarius. It comes with drastic changes, or as it is said, awakens the old demons to exorcize them completely and this cleansing will bring all the mud from the depths to the surface. Of course, people may say that such drastic changes has always been a part of our existence. But the signs are clear. Since the beginning of the technological revolution and especially since the beginning of the internet era all things which would have in other circumstances happened for centuries now develop for decades or even less. It took only a few days for a single post in a Danish newspaper with carricatures of the prophet Mohammed to awaken the anger of Muslims all over the world. Previously we all saw the collapes of the two towers of the WTC on September 11th 2001. And as if we were there we could feel the pain in the eyewitnesses' eyes. With only a few clicks with the mouse we can connect with someone who's on the other half of the globe and even hear and see them.

So now we encounter problems more intensively than any other moment back in time. Some people call it a clash of civilizations: between the West, Muslim world, Chinese... In past religions clashed quite often but only by wars. Nowadays wars between peoples on religious basis still occur often, but people fight much more with arguments than with weapons. Beacuse you can be heard everywhere. You just need to log on to the web...

While some people kill each other for their different beliefs, others start thinking much more about what lies beneath the surface of our minds. The so-called esotheric theories spread much faster than e.g. criminal literature. While some groups of our societies tend to fall into stupidity and narrow-mindedness, into the deep Lethen waters, others seek for the Truth about Life, the Universe and Everything. They seek for enlightment...

Enlightment is coming, step by step. The road might be hard and long, but definitely there's NO turning back. Not all people are prepared for it, most of them won't change the lanes and will continue in the same dead-end streets of ignorance. But ignorance is not bliss. Those who change, they will reach a higher state of conscoiusness, they will reach the enlightment.

Does it sound weird to you? Just take some time for reflection. The answer will come by itself...

Lebanon and Israel

It's been a few days since Isrealis started bombing Lebanon and the situation hasn't changed much yet. As if the International organizationa, the UN Security Council are dumb. Some words for interference but no action. They can't stop Israel doing what they want to. I'm not saying that, on the other side, the organization Hisbullah are saints. And, of course, as it is said, there's no smoke without a fire so what we see on the TV and in the internet isn't the whole information about the issue. There's a reason behind this invasion for sure.
And yet it's not an excuse. How many people have died on Lebanese side till now? Much more than on Israeli's. And most of them are civilians. This country has suffered quite a lot in the past and had just begun to revive when the bombings started. And it's all about an organization, not the government of Lebanon. They might be unofficially involved and might not take measures to stop Hisbullah but to hold a whole state responsible for one terrorist organization? If that's right then the US should hold Germany responsbile and to start bombing them because the terrorists from September 11th had made up the plot in Hamburg (as far as I remember). The fakeness of this excuse is quite striking.
But if Lebanese government is involved, why don't Israel ask for international measures?

I reach the conclusion that (if we don't involve opinions about how effective the Security Council and other similar organizations are) the state Israel's existence depends on war. They probably think that only wars and occupation of territories can help them survive as an independent state. Sometimes I think they have the right to have an own country where their roots are, but the nations that settled after them have the same right. Then what? Constant war? I don't believe so, at least in very, very long-term perspective. Both sides can't reach peace because if the governments sign peace, they won't be elected next time by their people. That's the truth.

This time with Lebanon, well, terrorism issue has been very popular lately. Probably here we'll just have to wait for Russia and US's measures. I guess only they have the power to stop this senseless invasion. The first ones - if it's suitable to their national interests, they can influence Israeli government by their electorate - as all of us know, many Israeli citizens are of Russian origin. The second ones - because they have a finger in every pie as far as Middle East is concerned and Israel is the guardian of their interests in the region.

Let's wait and see. I only sorrow for the ones that have lost their lives and for those whose life is still in danger...

School memories

Today I accidentally came across two things. I found an article in a newspaper about a chart of the top high schools in Sofia. The chart of the newspaper had put the National Trade and Banking High School (NTBG) on 15th place of desire by candidates for high school. But, in fact, it appeared to be on the 2nd place. I felt so proud of the high school I graduated 3 years ago... This proved my opinion - schools like NTBG which provide students with professional education and, moreover, with practical skills, get more and more attractive... Nowadays it turns out that the knowledge and practice you've gained there are comparatively more valuable than the university education.

The second thing that happened was the discovery of the new (finally!) website of NTBG:

http://ntbg-education.com/page.php?1

where I found this photo up there. With my classmates and me in 2001... I saw more photos from fairs I've participated in, including the one at the 90th anniversary of NTBG.

I remember how passionate we were that day - in 2001. Preparing our corner, putting the big poster on the wall (it can be seen on the photo - in the background). Wow, we paid 40 leva for this one :-D Well, Profitbank was the best one...as usual...and we didn;t get the prize...again. But it's another not so nice and much longer topic...

I remember Stasi (the girl next to me) trying to fix it on the window and shouting to the boys to come and help her...well, they didn't - as usual.

Wow, I've got so many good memories from this school. No matter how hard sometimes it was, and no matter how disappointed I was from some things which were happening there, now I feel PROUD that I graduated the National Trade and Banking High School. Professional high school education - that's the future, like it or not. And I'm happy that I spent 5 unforgettable years being one of the beginners in what is now a tradition at this school - the training entities. Thank you, NTBG. I hope one day someone would organize a gathering of all students graduated the school, and they would take care of us...like alumni...And then it will be finally proved how empowering this school is. I wish you all the best, NTBG. I hope you get much better than the level you're standing at right now... Thank you!

Another beautiful summer day in Sofia

As probably everything existing in the Universe, Sofia also has two sides: a good one and a bad one. I see the bad one from my window. And I can even breath it. The wind is blowing through the cracks of the windows and birngs with it the smell of the sea...nooo, not the sea this time, only if Sofia were next to the Black sea. It's even better - air full of elements from the chart of Mendeleev... I see the origin of this bliss - a misty cloud approaching towards the city. It's from the pride of our country - Kremikovtsi plant. Oh, lucky inhabitants of Drujba, Mladost, Gorublyane and Studentski grad... you're the ones who get this unique...hm, not unique, it's everyday chance to sense the scent...
My dream is to live somewhere closer to this place. Only then I'll be able to enjoy it to the maximum...

Being sick

For three days in a row I don't feel very well. I satayed at home and have just come to Sofia to be back to work, and now I'm trapped in the flat, not being able to do anything else but having a rest and...well...posting in my blog. Hopefully, I will be OK soon. Not only because of my duties, but because I've planned some meetings for the weekend with some of my best friends and I don't want to miss them! It turnes out to be a summer full of great moments! Can't wait till Friday!!! :)


I'm sitting here in the boring room
It's just another rainy Sunday afternoon
I'm wasting my timeI got nothing to do
I'm hanging around
I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens and I wonder

A nice place to visit in Sofia

mappaint.asp
Originally uploaded by Tsvetana.

It's called "Ambience" - a small cafe in Tsar Ivan Asen II str.

The interior is in the yellow colour scheme. A part of the interiar imitates old ruins - walls and Ionian columns at both sides of the walls. There's a florist's next to the cafe. And, of course, there are some flower decorations in the cafe. :)

They serve lemon-squash, orange-squash, fresh juiices, etc. - nice things in general :)

The music is awesome - ambient, of course :-D

And you can get some of these ad-postcards. I liked Mtel&Vodafone's the most! It's a dream place. :)))

http://www.flickr.com/photos/91293933@N00/184631619/

Sofia's hidden beauty

It was Sunday - one of those days when the city is so quiet that you can hear your footsteps! I was walking in the centre and, finally, decided to take my camera with me and shoot some more photos.

Sofia is such a controversial place. Sometimes it's so overcrowded, noisy, dirty... that you want to be anywhere else but there. And in other cases (unfortunately, only a few) it's a very quiet place and you can feel its atmosphere.

Believe me, Sofia might be a very beautiful city, only its beauty is hidden from the eyes of its inhabitants and visitors. You just have to look deeply and you'll find it's charm.


This posting is dedicated to buildings in Sofia - old, but beautiful; forgotten by restoration initiatives, but haven't lost their own individuality.




The photo on the left shows the building at the corner of Vitosha blvd. and Alabin str. It's a good example of how neglected old buildings in the centre are. It's in the very centre of the city, but noone cares how it looks like. Though there are some very luxurious shops in it. On its very corner at the level of the second floor there's an old camera. It's staying there since...a long time ago - probably I wasn't born yet. It's not working, of course.








Photo on the right: the building is situated at Todor Aleksandrov blvd, opposite to Bulbank, and its facade is "looking" at the recently rebuilt catholic cathedral. It's so neglected that even trees have started growing at the balcony!!! Well, it's not the only one of a kind in Sofia - what a surprise! :-( As if inhabitants have left, and nature has moved in...






Photo on the left: shows the back facade of a building at the corner of Hristo Botev blvd. and Pirotska str. This was the first time I've seen stained glasses on such type of building. Usually in Sofia you can see such mostly on at least a century old houses. And...again tree growing from the balcony...


Most of the inhabitants of buildings like this don't have enough money to have the buildings restored. At the moment the state and/or the municipality don't encourage and support them much to do it. Of course, no one wants to spend so much money on something which is just seen from the outside and is for the beauty of the city and not for personal profit. It's normal. But yet, the state/the municipality should help them and encourage them. After all, this is the face of the city, this is the true and original, and oldest part of the capital. It's pure history. Older than 50 years. It's something invaluable but it's turning into ruins or it's being turned into ruins and then replaced by new flashy buildings which destroy the whole atmosphere...

Фонетична или БДС кирилица?

Един ден съвсем случайно ми дойде наум: хмм, защо все пиша на английски тук в блога си? Реших - може би защото не е български блог портал и ако пиша на кирилица, няма да се разчете нищо (?!?). Е, опитах и стана. И странно като натисках бутоните на клавиатурата и изведнъж си зададох въпроса: защо се ползва т.нар. фонетичен стандарт вместо БДС за кирилица? Може и да звучи странно на някого, но за мен БДС си е най-добрият стандарт. Не че имам нещо против хората, които пишат на фонетична, но това е все едно да пишиш на латиница, само че излизат буквите на кирилица. Е тогава как да си запазим хубавия език, като отвсякъде се намесва латиницата основно под формата на англиийски.
Има си стандарт, буквите са си подредени на определен принцип, който от дълго време си се ползва. И е лесно, стига да имаш малко практика. Който е учил машинопис по десетопръстната система, знае за какво говоря. Да, има несъвпадение на звуците, но какво от това? Трябва ли още нещо чуждо да навлиза и да сменя нашето, което си е хубаво?
Макар че съм забравила десетопръстната система, все още мога да пиша еднакво бързо и на двата стандарта - БДС и латиница (US вариант).

Много се чудя защо хората основно ползват латинската подредба? Стигам до няколко извода:
- има хора, които живеят в чужбина и там българската азбука не е отпечатана на бутоните на клавиатурата и по-трудно се оправят с търсенето;
- повечето хора в България (може би особено по-младите) не владеят, а сигурно някои и не са чували за десетопръстната система - нормално, все пак не всеки му трябва
- с все по-широката употреба на компютри и интернет и по-масовото използване на английски хората свикват с този начин на печатане
- на средностатистическия ползвател на компютър и интернет не му се налага особено често да пише на български или изобщо да пише и се привиква към латинската подредба заради имената на сайтове и т.н.

Понякоге много се дразня, когато ползвам компютър, на който не е сложен и стандарта БДС измежду възможностите за печатане. Само фонетична. И докато свикна, че буквата "в" се намира на "w" вместо на "v" бутона... трябваха ми много опити и по неволя препълнени с буквата "ж" текстове...

Много хора са против използването на латиница при писане в български сайтове, което е напълно обяснимо (при положение че на повечето места си има автоматични кирилизатори). Но си мисля: не може ли малко повече да се наложи и БДС стандарта? Все пак си е БЪЛГАРСКИ.

Вярно, практически няма значение кой как пише, стига да е на български. Но въпросът е по-скоро принципен. Нима за пореден път трябва нещо наше, българско, да излезе от употреба заради чуждото???

LC Sofia - my story is over

It's been more than three years since I've joined AIESEC and LC Sofia UNWE in particular. Today was the official end of my EB term and the "oaths" of the EB 2006/2007.
It's a strange love (like in the song of Depeche Mode that I'm listening to at the moment). As I go back in time now I remember mostly the good moments. As if now I see my life then as flashbacks...
Stiliana and Maggie being so serious while interviewing me... The voice of Maggie on the phone telling me about the Local Introduction Seminar 2003... Me entering the LC office for the first time - the old one, painted in blue. Liubo asking me for the delegate fee while trying to get nearer as jumping over luggage... The keys for the rooms at the site of LIS. Vergie being the chair. Hmm, a useful booklet - What is AIESEC and contact list of the LC members... The interactive ways we learned about the AIESEC principles... The first party (Halloween theme) with Nasko using a curtain as a mantle... All the delagates, facilitators and OC in a circle singing Bob Marley's "No Woman, No Cry" and Nasko and Ivo making some funny gestures while changing a bit the name of the song...:) Tsvety as my team leader in the SN team... Mitko Chobanov and Stella talking to me about a mistake I've made... Stiliana being my mentor and the other mentees - Emo, Lile, Stefan & Stasi. The first national conference. The Faci team mostly o the current MC 2003/2004... The elections for MCP... Interpreting to Tom what the candidates were saying....I missed the last part of them... BLDS 2004 in Sofia... Me in the OC... Me slipping in front of the elevator and the box with algae powder for the delegates falling on the ground and 1/4 of it spreading... Me collecting the spread powder and hiding in in the thrash can nearby...:) The video on leadership topic with Vicky the facilitator. Organizing the company trainings sites... Me waiting at 6 o'clock at a tram stop with a couple of bags with bread for the breakfast... The sugarcubes at the end of the conference... Eb elections for term 2004/2005. Nasko elected as LCP. Me - coordinator Finance selected by the EB later. The Local Planning Conference at Vitosha. The EB 2003/2004 being so sad while "passing the ball" to the new EB and then leaving the conference... The summer of 2004. Me, Nasko, Ivo, Leny and Stoyan meeting almost every day at lunch in the centre discussing about AIESEC and stuff. LIS 2004 and the new members. My birthday being the party topic of the first day of LIS... A small kitten coming to the site and me - taking it home and naming it after the conference - Lisa. :) Marin, Pesho, nasko & Ivo talking about the Pernik region which made the perfect movie...:) Me being a mentor for the first time. I matched a TN and Nando came to Bulgaria. :) New Year's Eve party at my place with AIESECers...:) Time for decision for me whether to continue in the EB next term. Election time. Me - VP Finance 2005/2006. BLDS 2005 in Varna. The reflection time I had during my travel to Varna by bus. The music I was listening to... kircho showing funny videos... The closing of the conference when Kircho, Stella and Stiliana gathered us - all @BG EBs... You are the future of AIESEC in Bulgaria. Look around you and you'll see the people you'll be working with through the whole year. Count the days you have for AIESEC. How much in the end...? The National planning conference in May 2005... Dolni Lozen - the site of my first LIS in AIESEC - a place of good memories. Preparing Local Planning Conference with the EB. Me not going for personal issues... May-June - hard and intense times for me in general. 7 exams in UNWE, 2 for CAE of Cambridge... my EB term starts... Preparation for the recruitment campaign 2006... Presentation and me talking about the opportunities in financial area in AIESEC... Assessment centre with complicate schedule... Preparation for LIS 2005... Stella coming from Turkey to be the chair... Sleepless nights of preparation. Stressful times but intense learning times... My session for AIESEC Identity which started shaping even more my perception of AIESEC... 2006 - the most intense learning period for me: my EB, my team, the LC members. Conscious learning. EB elections and our successors elected. Hopes for a more united LC with a perfect EB team. Me reflecting upon the year. Me and the EB team 2005/2006 realizing how time has passed so quickly... Preparation for the official "takeover". Great times with EB 2005/2006. Lile's place, drinking beer, discussing women' stuff (of course, we had to prove to everyone that they were right to expect such meetings from a girls EB. :)) PPT preparation... Laughter while coming up with the funny sentences... The party at the Local planning conference. EB 2005/2006 speeches... PPT... Funny oaths... PPT for the EB 2006/2007... Champagne... Steli giving a speech as the LCP... Hugs and words with between EBs... Giving the globe with AIESEC logo to the LC... Finishing with the champagne in my cup... Taking a cab... Entering my place... Writing this post...

The End.


P.S. Actually it's not the end. It's a continuation of a good friendship with my EB team. I keep the good memories of the past times in my LC of origin. The story is not over because we can still meet the LC members and remember the past good and bad times. The story is not over because if it were, it would have meant that we want to forget totally about our firends in the LC and the times we've had there. No matter that I'm still in AIESEC in the MC, I will always remember the times spent in the LC - the things I've learned, the people I've met and I'll contuinue to meet, the moments I had there. Thank you, LC Sofia, for giving me the opportunities to develop myself and in considerable degree to be the person I am today. Now we should go forward: keeping the memory of the past times - bad and good, and climbe the highest mountains - each of us in our own special way. Good luck!

...

Back to Blogger

It's been a long time since my last post. It's been a tough week. My PC blocked lots of times and I had to reinstall the OS. Finally I have Windows XP, but it took me a week to fix everything. :(

So now I can happily say it's time to go back to my daily work: about Life, The Universe and Everything.

Depeche Mode in Bulgaria! And no ticket for me :(

It's one of those reflection periods when no matter what my daily activities are, I keep on thinking about Life, The Universe and Everything. And one of those moments was the last evening's concert of Depeche Mode in Sofia!!! After a long time of negotiations and deep search, I eventually found myself without a ticket in front of the "Lokomotiv" stadium, where the band made the huge show.

Sitting on a sidewalk on the road behind the stage, I was listening to the great performers and thinking...wow, how lucky I was after all to be at that very place, in that very moment. To feel the real show, the voice of David Gahan elevating your mind... It was a like being on a higher state of consciousness... listening to songs like "Walking in My Shoes", "Stripped", "Suffer Well", "Nothing's Impossible"... And yet it was so sad for me staying out of the stadium without a ticket...:(

So next time I'll be more organized and wait outside in cold and heat and I will buy the ticket! :)

Which is our direction?

Sometimes I wonder what it's like to be on the other side of the road. What if I were born in another country, or society, with another religion, other language, history and traditions?

Is is true that I've been overexposed to a huge group of people with similar interests and values but from different countries, cultures, language, religion? And I haven't had the time to realize that the rest of the world is different in a way? The most imortant - that if I want to follow the latter values, I have to know better the rest of the world.

I keep on discovering new things different to these I'm used to and they challenge me a lot. Is this the way forward?

The reality is scary. People around the world torture each other to death, kill innocent for economic dominance, fight against each other in public and mostly in secret. Tension is about to be growning in my own country, I can feel it. Not necessarily in the way described above, difference between certain parts of the society is growing. Is this the world we're living in? Is this the country I'm living in?

Ignirance is bliss, some might say. In short term - yes. But in long term? How long will we remain like that? And how long the society I'm living in will become a real, united one? No international organizations can help us if we don't help ourselves. No restrictions or recommendations can make us really make a difference if we don't feel its necessity by ourselves and commit to it. All of us. If not - well, sometimes I think that in not such long future the once great country with rich history and contribution to the world cultural heritage may no longer exist. Or at least we as a nation will no longer exist.

We're going straightly in that direction. But the supernatural power above us which some people call destiny, others - God, and third don't even believe in - sometimes makes big jokes of us and shows us another direction. People can change their destiny and, at the same time, this is a change in their destiny. We'll see.

The days back home

I didn't post these photos when I got back in Sofia, but now I'm doing this.
I was at home for a few days while studying for the exams..it's good to be back home, even though for studying! :) The two cats hadn't missed me a lot as I understood when I got back :-D They're two funny small creatures. Lisa is the small black devil and the angel is the tomcat. Really, they're just like that. Lisanka is the evil one, and the poor white creature is so good that sometimes get beaten by Lisa :)))

Aaand this is one of the windows of the house..isn't it beautiful??? The sky at sunset reflecting in the window, and the two pots. It's so cute :)

It's good to be back home! :)

Trying hard to get inspired

Today:
- is the second day of the FIFA World Cup 2006 in Germany;
- I'm thinking about my internship in Mobiltel which starts from Monday, 12.06;
- I've bought huuuge amounts of food and drinks;
- is the day before my last exam at the uhniversity for this session;
- I'm not in the mood to study banking which is strange as it used to be my favourite subject at school. Apparently not anymore;
- I'm checking my e-mails, blog, Treck Earth photos every 10 minutes;
- I've already halvened the food and drinks I've bought and I'm planning to finish the second half till tomorrow morning;
- I'm totally disorganized and I lack inspiration for doing anything else nut watching the football games while finishing with the food and drinks (more info about the latter - see above);
- I'm finally ready to go and continue as the last football match for today is starting and I love to study while listening/watching what's going on;
- hopefully will be an exception for lack of inspiration.

~~~

Tanya's birthday

We celebrated Tanya's birthday yesterday, 5th June. We went to "Romance" in Simeonovo district in the afternoon. Hmm, very delicious cakes, although too sweet. I almost managed to eat mine..well, as you might know, I always leave food in my plate :-D

Then we walked through the mountain for an hour using the road. It was so beautiful there! And I managed to take photos with my newly-repaired camera. I got pretty scared when it shut down again as before, but it turned out that the batteries were low... :) I collected resin from the pine trees. It's a tradition for me to collect wherever I go. And I use it for incense. :) It's awesome!!! (Well, sometimes your hands get sticky...)

I took a photo of Sofia as it is seen from Simeonovo. Wow, quite a lot of concrete :) From the distance the city looks so small, and in fact I couln't believe from this point it can be seen only the airport and a part of Mladost district! So pity we didn't see a plane landing or taking off :) It would have been pictured immediately :-D


In the evening we (a small bunch of friends) went to the bar "The Appartment". It's a very extraordinary place - it's a...flat :-D Converted to a bar :))) You can sit in a couch and drink a cup of tea for example! And there's a PC with music list in your room and you can play the music you like, or play some games, etc. :) The owner is passing by every minute, and as far as I understood, he's a pretty "freaky" guy :) The whole lace is rather surrealistic, and some contribution to that makes the owner's dog - a small spaniel which is either following its owner or passing by alone. It reminded me of the scene in "The Matrix" when a black cat is passing and it's a deja vu. So the scene with the dog passing by every 5 minutes was rather the same :) I couldn't take picture of it because the owner (actually the dog is also owner of the bar - it's written on something like a certificate in the kitchen!) heard us and shown his head and said the dog doesn't like technics. And took it away :)
You can see the perspective I would have pictured the dog from. And you can imagine it passing by each 5 minutes..:-D Almost like deja vu :)

So that's how we spent the day!

Milk, rose incense sticks & Bob Marley

It was a looong day, exam in the afternoon, heat, hunger.. I'm happy it's all over. :-D

The three of us - me, Maria & Milen had a nice afternoon walk in Borisovata gradina. :) The sun was shining, people were walking and I saw another, nicer side of this park which I haven't had the chance to see before. It was much more lively and bright than usual there. So pity I still don't have my camera back, I had it repaired but I have to pay for it in order to have it back - 48 leva.. :'( After the next exam for sure there'll be a second walk :-D and then - photooooos!
And now my feet hurt from the walk :) And I'm relaxing with cold milk, incense sticks (my favourite!!!) while listening to Bob Marley. His songs are awsome! :)
So that's how life is going on these times. It was a good day. :)

Contemplation

People tend to expect other people's thoughts and actions to be the same as theirs. Should that be the right thing to do?

People believe they know others very well and they can tell what others are thinking and why they are thinking in that way. Can people read other people's minds in order to tell exaclty what others are thinking? If not, then?

The borderline?!.

It's 31st May, 11:57 p.m. in the evening when I start this posting. It's so quiet in MSN Messenger. Only noise (nice one) from my headphones. I'm listening to Depeche Mode - "It's Only When I Lose Myself" (...it's only when I lose myself I find myself...:)).

It's been a long way to here - the point I'm at right now. This is the borderline..wow, it's 12:00 p.m. sharp! It's really the borderline between my..already previous term as LC Sofia VPF and my term as MC VPF in AIESEC Bulgaria...

It's so strange feeling. I haven't thought much about this very moment. Some minutes ago I realized - I'm going out of my cosy place as member of the LC in my university, I'm no longer active member of LC Sofia UNWE. I go back in time when I shared amazing moments with members now and then - the time I joined the organization in the distant year 2003. And now these moments will no longer happen. Now I'll be part of something different and yet AIESEC again.

Three years ago when I joined AIESEC I've never imagined that one day I'll be one of the MC team. Like these people I first saw at the December National Conference in 2003 who I didn't even speak to...I thought they were so unreachable that I would never be able to talk to them. Now I know how wrong I was :) (Please, approach me any time :))

It's so amazing how much you learn about yourself and others during the term as EB. It's intensive time you can never repeat, whoever gets the opportunity for being EB, is lucky. In the end, when you reflect on what you've done throughout this year, you realize it's not just experience to add in your AIESEC background. It's a learning experience, a real one. And it depends on you whether you'll make use of it or just forget about it and go for the next oppportunity ahead, no matter in AIESEC or not.

But there's zero effect if you don't make the most of your team experience. I owe so much to Leni, Deni, Eli, Lile & Petya. Thank you!!! :)

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I've passed the borderline. It's already 00:41 a.m. My mind is on it's way to it as well. So many things to think over and so short of time.

Another part of my mind has been already across for a long time. I never stop thinking of what's coming. What has actually come. The new term. It's a huge personal challenge for me. I've pushing my limits for a long time, and now it will be even more intensive. But, just like the new tool of AIESEC for achieving AIESEC 2010 - the BSC, I've got the "tool", I know the path better and the steps I should take.

This one is getting to personal I guess. Nevertheless I feel the need to share it. Since now I haven't shared to many people what's AIESEC for me. I've never seen so clearly the connection between who I am and what my goals are with the Identity of AIESEC. For the time since my election for MCVP it's been getting more and more clear.

All my life I've always wanted to be different from the mass. And I've always been doing it - sometimes with positive results, sometimes - with negative. Once I was one of those teenagers "fighting against the system" (well, not literally, no violence applied). I've never been happy with the society I'm living in and everytime I was seeing something not appropriate, I was too shy to say a word and change something. And after that a bitter feeling remained - that I could have done something but I hadn't and I'd never have the opportunity to correct my mistake. I was a person complaining of the system and this was my way fighting it.

NOT anymore. What changed me? What made me discover my real potential? Simply AIESEC. Some people outside AIESEC (and maybe inside, unfortunately) think that all the things we're talking about in AIESEC are useless, that it's like building sand castles in the sky, that one is too "small" to make a positive change in society. That even 100 people are not enough to make the needed impact. I like this commercial saying "Impossible is nothing". You can change something. There are so many disappointed people in Bulgaria. They think nothing can ever be changed in our society and choose to go with the flow. There are other people who go out of the deep waters.

AIESEC gives you wings, but you have to know how to use them. Only then you'll learn how to fly. If you don't see the whole point, then you won't make a change, you'll learn by heart e.g. the AIESEC values and principles without actually following them. And whn you leave AIESEC, you'll remain the same - you'll know that some things are "bad" ad others - "good", but if you don;t identify yourself with those principles, you'll be one of the so-called people without any principles. You'll be a fullright member of the local society AIESEC is aiming to change through, originally, people like you.

I really like a part of the lyrics of a song played by Faithless: "...how could I change the world if I can't even change myself?" That's the initial question. As I go back in time through my life I discovered I'm one of those few people (yet) who want to live in a better society and thus have better lives. AIESEC has been enabling me to see the change I want to make in myself in order to make this positiva impact I want to make. And that perfectly correlates with the role of AIESEC. :)

That's why I'm in AIESEC. And the toughest journey has already began. It's a really amazing experience. And you, dear reader, if you've endured and reached this part of the posting (almost the end;) ), I wish to you to have this opportunity as I have to see the difference. :) And understand it. And then enable other people see it. That's how it works.

Discover. Feel. Inspire.

:)