I wonder what happens in the mind of people who know that they are guilty but they refuse to admit. The case with "Toplofikatsia Sofia" and the two CEO-s in a row to turn out to have been draining money from the company and transferring them to bank accounts in Austria and perhaps in other countries. Millions of leva, reliable proofs for the fraud, but they, of course, don't admit. I wonder what happens in one's brain in such cases? All human beings have the potential to do that, but not everyone is capable of something with such dimension.
"I haven't done anything I feel sorry for"?
"I don't care, I've got influential friends"?
If everyone cheats, why shouldn't I"?
"I'm not guilty, values have changed"?
'It's better to be me than someone else"?

If you stay in the arrest for a couple of days at least, does somehting change? If you have spent day and night to make plans for the frauds, do you feel just a little guilty or sorry for this only a week later? Or you have been prepared for such moment and everything is part of the Game?

I still wonder. If I reach the truth, it would be too easy, wouldn't it? If we were able to reach the truth so easy, there wouldn't be such people anymore. Why do we have people who analyze the human brain if after so many centuries so little has changed? There have always been "bad" people (although the meaning of the word "bad" is too subjective in my opinion). The combination of egocentrism and capability to forget the lessons of history up to now dooms us to go in a circle or better a spiral.

Are we going to leave this case in dusty folders somewhere in the corners of an archive room? And one day some children might read in ther history books that at that time the system was corrupt, moral was dirty word and "good" meant "the average bad"?

Change, World and Logic

I didn't expect it. I didn't want it. But it just came up to my mind. And I decided to record it here - to keep a memory of it.

When we fight for a change, in fact we fight against ourselves.

"How could I change the world as I can't even change myself..."
("Salva Mea", Faithless)

But what does "change" mean? Is it an action or a process? If it is an action, then is it right to say that - as each action has a result - change also has a result? If it does, then is this result the final boundary, or it is more like a benchmark?

Like everything on this Earth, there is no single answer.

Or the existence of the word and activity called "logic" proves that World is simpler than we normally think?

Too far-fetched thoughts of mine, I suppose. As usual. :)

I'm not the person I used to be exactly 1 year ago. And yet I'm the same inside. The passion for something... The beliefs... The acceleration... Yes, maybe fallen into deeper waters, but maybe a little bit wiser. Still naive? I guess so. Optimist? Yes.
Society is the same. Bulgarian mentality (the negative pert) - as well.
Is it true that one always conforms with the environment? That one subconsciously, inevitably , without a fixed plan or agenda gets closer to the average Bulgarian with average mentality with predominantly negative biases?

An ordinary world

...
Still I can't escape the ghost of you
...
What has happened to it all?
Crazy, some are saying
Where is the life that I recognize?
Gone away
...
Papers in the roadside
Tell of suffering and greed
Here today, forgot tomorrow
Ooh, here besides the news
Of holy war and holy need
Ours is just a little sorrowed talk
....
And I don't cry for yesterday
There's an ordinary world
Somehow I have to find
And as I try to make my way
To the ordinary world
I will learn to survive

About forgetting and forgiving and one commemoration

Does mind really have the ability to forget? If it doesn't, then if forgiveness should be given after one "forgets", ...there's should't be forgiveness at all! But yet, it exists - otherwise the word would have been useless and thus it would have been forgotten. But if we assume that there is no such thing as "forget", then the word "forgive" sould be remembered, not forgotten.
A week ago, on the 24th of November, the world commemorated Freddie Mercury, the frontman of Queen, who died from AIDS in 1991. Several years ago in late November I was sleeping in my bed. It was just about time for my alarm clock to ring when I started dreaming. I saw myself as a close friend of Freddie, I was staying beside him, while he was suffering, I was suffering with him. Then I suddenly woke up and in my dizziness, the first thing I did un(sub?)consciously was to check what the date was. Neither had I any idea what date it was, nor I remembered what had happened on that day in 1991. I saw it was the 24th of November. Then, still sleepy, I understood. And I was shocked.
From time to time I remind myself of this dream. It is my proof that nothing is completely lost and forgotten, that subconsciously a person always remembers. So yes - if everything is stored somewhere in your brain, "backed up" in a shady corner, then nobody forgives. If you say "I forgive you", you might think you really mean it, but as lng as you still remember, there will always be "that something" to remind you of the old times.
But nothing in this world is simple, nor it is complicated, just complex. The very widespread hypothesis that we use a tiny part of our brain, might be true. Even I can't tell what will come next to my mind in probably a month. This is not inconsistency, this is just the normal path of life.
Inequality exists only in people's minds. Equations could be found everywhere in the Universe, otherwise everthing would have been blown away already. Like any other creature or just thing which exists, human beings try to get away from this inequality and turn to the equation. We never stop doing it - as proved above, we never forget, subconsiously.
One of the basic equations, used also as a basic principle in accounting:
Asset = Liability + Asset (Y amount) - Liability(Y amount)
In accounting its existence is verified annually. In life this check is done every moment.

Boa noite.